Timeshifting Time Capsule

The Betamax, one of our first timeshifting devices. I liked the smaller tapes, personally. And I've always been a Sony fan. Perhaps due to their advertising in the 70s and 80s - "It's not a TV, it's a Sony". One of my girlfriends was the model on the packaging of the first Walkman's. Maybe that's it. Anyway, porn distributors wanted the VHS format and that's where we ended up until DVDs came along.
Is timeshifting and other on-demand media conveniences good for us? While I enjoy it, I don't always think so. Since I've given up the internet at home, I realize how little I really need to do on the web. And the mobile phone - that too is a mixed blessing.
Anyway, I love the colors in the Betamax commercial. And the real people feel. "Taxi" was a big TV show back then. The whole cabbie motif has really changed. I don't think there are more than about three white cab drivers in New York City in 2008. I actually know one of them - a photographer friend that being young and hip passed by, leaving him driving a cab not so much as an ironic underbelly lark but as his most viable means of support.
This commercial seems to really illustrate for me how much the world has changed. It feels dated, sure, but there's something immutable about it as well as being so of the time it was made. Maybe it's the precision of its capture of the era that makes it timeless.

Nostalgico,
Signore Direttore

Our Politics Mirror Our Stupidity

I am unhappy but not too surprised to see McCain currently leads 50-46 in a recent USA Today poll. I know it's a post-convention bump. We looove publicity - please just tell us what to think.
I also saw that in a recent CNN research poll 45% of those polled felt Sarah Palin is ready to be President. In the same poll 75% believed that she was chosen because having a woman on the ticket would help McCain get elected. So only a quarter don't have a cynical view of politics, but almost half are willing to give a very inexperienced person a heart attack away from the oval office the benefit of the doubt.
What the hell have we been going on and on about for the past year if this VP candidate can come out of nowhere and earn that much support based on one speech? It's a joke.
And what of all this crap about her being pretty? She's certainly not physically ugly, but she's nothing to get excited about.
And why is Obama's lack of experience such an issue? W. was governor of Texas for six years. That was the extent of his experience in public office. Not too much more time than Obama has been in the US Senate, let alone as a state legislator. I won't compare the intelligence of the two men. Not because I think the answer is so obvious, but for that I fear intelligence is becoming an undervalued commodity in America.
I don't talk about politics that often, but I'm starting to get to the boiling point. The candidates bother me far less than the enfranchised and the fourth estate. Ugh.

Disgusted,
Signore Direttore

The Master Says 329

Honor the source.

David Simon

The Master Says 328

A 'professional', at least in the common usage of the term, is one who is very far from being 'independent'. If the artist seeks - indeed demands and must have - 'freedom', then the industry professional must face that what he needs and wants is 'dependence', the mutual and reciprocal support of others in what is an industry that produces a product designed for mass consumption in the hopes of massive profits.

Alexander Mackendrick

Trudging Ever Forward

I had a spotting session for the sound design of But A Dream at Digital One this morning. It was one more experience that I went into uneasy and came out calm and confident. I directed the film two and a half years ago. I've since made two features and over two dozen shorts. I'm a far more experienced filmmaker at this point. I've also lost all perspective on the film. As I sat through it one more time this morning I wondered if the tension I was feeling was a result of the story or nerves from sitting in a room with three strangers. I've also noticed that people are very quiet after seeing it. So there's that pregnant pause that makes me think people are trying to think of something nice to say that will cover how much they hated it and resent my asking for ten minutes of their time.
I've gotten better about sitting and waiting for responses to my work. Even when people don't like something I seem to survive. The Digital One guys liked it. The sound designer, Chip Sloan, had some very welcome ideas for it. He really got it in a way that the other sound editors I've been trying to work with for the past six months did not. I guess those relationships didn't work out for a reason. There was one guy that had done some stuff on a few of GSV's films that I wanted to work with for the very wrong reason of having some names in my credits with impressive bona fides. Though there are several others that worked on BAD like Neil Kopp, TG Firestone and Greg Schmitt that have kept very good working company.
Moving on from my egotistical concerns ...
I was anxious about the meeting this morning. It started last night. I've been working on my Withoutabox application form. I'm hoping the film will have its World Premiere at Sundance. I've been doing this for awhile and this is the first film that I've finished that I think merits submission to premiere festivals. I'm looking forward to finding out how it fares, all the while coming up with judgments of it that confirm its failure. It's just a way to try to control the outcome. I want to feel safe and my brain is telling me it's safer to fail.
That's what the film is about - taking that next step even though it might be your last.
Robert Evans says you need to learn from your successes. I'm going to call but A Dream a success right here and now before I even send it off to Sundance. Goodness knows I've learned a lot from making it and seeing it through to meet the world on its own merits. It feels nice to learn from my success.

Bravo,
Signore Direttore

In Search of a Midnight Kiss

I loved this film. You, too, can go see it at selected theaters like The Hollywood in Portland. It's well written, well acted and beautifully photographed. Downtown Los Angeles has never looked so good.
This film gives me hope for Digital Cinema. The filmmakers told a simple story in their own collective voice. They created something wonderful, avoiding the usual failed imitation of a big studio production or the snarky sloppy cam of many DIY films.

In Admiration,
Signore Direttore

Back to School

Thus ending another summer. All three of our children are in school this year. Rented three units in the apartment building - only one unit left to renovate. But A Dream is getting finalized in the next week.
The fall looks like a promising season for some writing as well as guiding the two features home. Kind of hard to believe. I'm a little breathless - both out of breath from all the activity and lacking breath from the anxiety of actually finishing some things.
My life truly is good. But for me, it's really hard to accept at times. I'm not used to not being in crisis. I'm sure some things will come up - life always intercedes, but this feeling that there are no big deals coming my way is hard to imagine let alone embrace.
My wife is going out of town for a job and I have to get contractors going on the last unit, so I'm keeping my writing expectations low for a couple more weeks. Oh and I have meetings and sessions with sound designers and colorists and graphic designers for But A Dream. Funny how I tell myself I'm not doing much and then write it down or tell someone and realize, oh shit I'm not really taking it easy after all.
Today, I'm off to coffee with a friend and colleague and then to a school picnic at Blue Lake.

Grazie,
Signore Direttore

David Fucking Milch

Ooh Danger!

I watched the first cut of Dangerous Writing today. I prepared myself for some big holes in the story and some gut-wrenching pain as best I could. I actually considered not giving any notes and just letting it wash over me this first time through in order to try to accept it for what it is rather than as having failed to bring my vision for it to life.
Though it was probably wise to lower my expectations, none of that was necessary. The film is good. We succeeded in making the film I imagined. The camera work is nice, the performances are all good to very good, and the story comes through. David, Aislinn, Joey and Andrew all do very nice work. They all have moments of excellence. The rest of the cast also does a fine job. The sound kind of sucks, but what do you expect shooting in real locations with no money? With some work it can be improved for the most part.
It was really great to see it. I look forward to seeing the next cut and I think this is a film everyone will be proud to have been involved with.

Grazie,
Signore Direttore

The Master Says 327

Success is a finished book, a stack of pages each of which is filled with words. If you reach that point, you have won a victory over yourself no less impressive than sailing single-handed around the world.

Tom Clancy

Vicky Christina Barcelona

Going to a Woody Allen film in the past ten or twelve years has been a tricky proposition. He's made a few good ones and more than a few stinkers. I haven't exactly gone out of my way to get to the theater for his films as I did beginning in high school. I think the last Woody Allen film I went to see in a theater was Celebrity.
I'm not a fan of Scarlett Johansen. Even her undeniably luscious curves seemed to diminish in the wake of her flat performances. But Woody seemed to find a way to use her effectively in Match Point so I wasn't going to stay away from this one because of her. I adore Penelope Cruz, especially when she has the freedom of speaking and being Spanish.
This film evoked Allen's films of the 70s and 80s - simple situational films dealing with neurotic relationships. Though this story was a bit thinner and the cast wasn't up to the antics of the great former Allen ensembles. Which isn't to say javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz and Patricia Clarkson are not good actors or delivered wanting performances. I just don't think they had much to do. In films like Hannah and her Sisters, which this film seems most closely related, the energy was up, up, up. Perhaps the culture of the siesta invaded the film. I want to remind myself here that Woody isn't obligated to duplicate his past triumphs or even continue the same themes. But with a voice as distinctive as his, it's hard not to have those expectations.
At times the lead female, Rebecca Hall, sounded just like Woody - nasally, acerbic, paranoid, absurdly rational. It was charming, especially due to the brevity of the emulative moments.
I worked with Chris Messina on a film called Road in New York. We have a lot of mutual friends. It was good to see him in a sizable role on the big screen.
The film was worth seeing and enjoyable. It reminded me of how simple a film can be and how few films that accept that challenge.

Signore Direttore

XLI

Thirty, thirty-five and forty didn't bother me. They were milestones to be celebrated. Add one and suddenly I'm beyond the abyss. Which isn't to say I'm bothered today as I celebrate forty-one years of age. I'm quite happy actually, but I can't say I am entirely excited to state my age. It comes with a little interior tremor of, Really?
I ran this morning through Victoria BC, catching up to my family who were visiting the petting zoo in Beacon Hill Park while I had some alone time to gaze across the Straits of Juan de Fuca at the Olympic Mountains back in our suite before my run. I'm finally able to run comfortably after four years of rehabilitating a severe tendon injury in my right ankle. Running makes me feel light on my feet and young. I'm much slower than I was but minus the burn of the pack a day plus I used to smoke even when running competitively. I've been running all week with no pain in my joints. My muscles on the other hand are feeling the burn. My lungs, however, feel quite young.
I have mucho to be grateful for, obvious to my intellect but difficult for my psyche to accept. Oh, the great mystery of life! No sense in trying to sort it all out, better to live as mindfully and courageously as possible and leave the rest up to the universe.

feliz cumpleanos a mi,
Signore Direttore

Olympia

We're in Olympia. Our cottage on Marrowstone won't be ready until tonight. We decided to split the car travel in half and spend a night here. I've driven through Olympia dozens of times without ever stopping. It's a really cool looking little city. I'm surprised it hasn't been used in more films. There are a lot of little alleys downtown. Then just a few blocks from the beautiful architecture of the old buildings and storefronts is Puget Sound. We saw two seals playing in the inlet to Heritage Lake. And some herons.
An old movie theater has been converted to a playhouse that has a Shanley play up. Lots of good little restaurants. I want to come back here. Maybe without the kids.
I also got back into Sway this morning for a thousand words or so. It feels good and totally familiar. I'm not going to let it take over our vacation, but I do want to try and pass the fifty thousand mark this week.

Ciao,
Signore Direttore

Family Vacation Packing List

Phase I - Marrowstone Island, Washington

Binoculars
Audubon guides
Hiking boots
Rei/Columbia clothes
Campfire songbook
Crocs
Board games
Sway - first draft of novel in progress
Skateboard

Phase II - Victoria BC

Shoes - white suede oxfords
Oxford shirts
Trousers
Cashmere cardigan
Willy Vlautin's new novel Northline
The Wire season 3 box set
New Versace tie (for high tea at the Empress)

The Master Says 326

In going where you have to go, and doing what you have to do, and seeing what you have to see, you dull and blunt the instrument you write with. But I would rather have it bent and dull and know I had to put it on the grindstone again and hammer it into shape and put a whetstone to it, and know I had something to write about, than to have it bright and shining and nothing to say, or smooth and well-oiled in the closet, but unused.

Ernest Hemingway

SLUT

A little tease from the short film SLUT starring Brendan Robinson and Christy Drogosch. Photographed by Brian Mohr. Hair and Makeup by Nicola. I did all the other stuff, as the forementioned were the extent of our cast and crew.

The Master Says 325

The proper route to an understanding of the world is an examination of our errors about it.

Errol Morris

The Master Says 324

A film is - or should be - more like music than like fiction. It should be a progression of moods and feelings. The theme, what's behind the emotion, the meaning, all that comes later.

Stanley Kubrick

A Sad Passing

The Master Says 323

If you're a singer, you lose your voice. A baseball player loses his arm. A writer gets more knowledge, and if he's good, the older he gets, the better he writes.

Mickey Spillane

Arrested Development

I was the kind of kid that skipped school and watched television. I started this practice in second grade. Cartoons in the early morning, game shows (Price Is Right, Match Game, Family Feud) later in the morning, Perry Mason at noon, afternoon matinee at 1, more cartoons from 3 to 5, followed by syndicated detective shows in the evening (Rockford Files, Mannix, It Takes A Thief, Hawaii Five-O) and finally primetime at 8pm. I watched between four and fifteen hours of television daily. I spent more time with the Flintstones and Perry Mason than I did with my parents. Both were more reliable in many ways than my role models in real life. Hence my own arrested development.

I don't own a television now that I have children. They get to watch a film once a week. And we go to the movies once in awhile. I don't really miss TV that much. Especially since I can watch shows on DVD without commercials. I like watching TV shows rather than movies sometimes, because sometimes I'm just too tired to watch ninety plus minutes of a film at the end of a long day.
People have been telling me how great Arrested Development is for years. I finally watched it last night. I was not disappointed. It's really funny. You probably already know that. It's five years later and it still feels fresh. Jason Bateman and Michael Cera are my favorites. David Cross is my least favorite. I will be watching it compulsively in the coming weeks.

¡viva!
Signore Direttore

Sports Update

Fireman Ed has some news for Jets fans: Brett Favre, one of the greatest quarterbacks in the history of football is a Jet. He's at the end of his career, but he's a winner and hasn't missed a start since early in his career due to injury. Thanks to the poor performance of last year, the Jets have a soft schedule this year. They should make the playoffs and perhaps make the AFC Championship game like the Chiefs did it when Joe Montana left the 49ers late in his career.
Even if they don't win a lot, at least it will be nice to see the ball being thrown downfield for the first time in a long time.
The Mets suck and I've barely paid attention to them this year. I went weeks without looking at the scoreboard or boxscores. The Knicks have a new coach, but they'll still be a mess. I was happy to see the Patriots lose to the Giants in the Super Bowl, but while I don't hate the Giants as I loathe the Yankees, I don't have love in my heart for NY's NFC team. This move by the Jets revitalizes my ties to NY sports. For now.

Ciao,
Signore Direttore

When Negative Reenforcement Becomes Punishment

. . . (the king) can deprive them of the benefit of sun and rain, . . . and they are at the same time pelted from above with great stones, . . . while the roofs of their houses are beaten to pieces. - Jonathan Swift

I am the type of leader that too often pelts subordinates with stones and beats their homes to pieces. I have a lot of difficulty accepting substandard performance from those in my charge. Especially from crew members. My thoughts that precede my reactions of scorn, both viva voce and silent, go something like this - I've got multiple things to track, you've got one thing to track; why can't you get the one simple fucking thing you've got to do right? While that might be a logical conclusion, albeit crudely so; it isn't very kind, loving or tolerant. It certainly isn't the way to make people feel good about working for me. (My shame is all the more amplified when I recall I rarely have had the ability to pay my crews.)
I am becoming more aware of this tendency, which is a huge step toward growing out of this brand of insecure leadership. Indeed insecurity is at the core of this issue. When it comes to set protocol and technical skills I overcompensate for fear of judgment from the crew. I strive to know their jobs better than they do so as to maintain my authority. I do this in the name of being a more complete filmmaker, but it's not entirely the motive. Perhaps by letting go of this fallacious attempt at authority, I will form more trusting relationships with my collaborators by treating them as such.

Humbly,
Signore Direttore

The Master Says 322

Not beautiful photography, not beautiful images,
but necessary images and photography.

Robert Bresson

The Master Says 321

Some people regard discipline as a chore. For me, it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly.

Julie Andrews

August 1, 2008

Okay. Summer is half over. 2oo8 is in its second half. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of challenging events and relationships. My psyche has been invaded - my dreams full of anxiety all week. I'm exhausted. I'm wondering what the point of all this upheaval is exactly. This is not what I want. So I'm making some changes to quiet some of the turmoil while allowing for forward progress.
I'm going to take the weekend to consider dropping way back and punting on future gigs with the corporate client I've been working for. I don't want the work that I do based foremost on the money I'm earning. That's what this job is becoming - I think of the money first. In fact, it's the only reason I'm doing the job. And that has never worked for me.
There were three hours today when I felt like I could get excited again. I submitted a proposal for a project that we discussed energetically in our meeting this morning, but that won't get contracted. That in itself doesn't bother me. It's the fact that they're going to take three weeks to tell me they want to rethink the ideas presented in today's concept meeting. Which means we'll have another concept meeting. In a few weeks. How do I know this? Because that's been the pattern and the art director sent me an email saying he thinks the pushback is going to continue for reasons beyond his comprehension. I get paid for the meetings and the proposals, but I make the real money when we shoot and edit something. And then do it again. And again. For once I'm getting paid to talk and plan, but all these years of working independently makes me suspicious of such frivolity. I just want to shoot stuff. And I want to do it under circumstances that offer the possibility to succeed.

Ciao,
Signore Direttore

The Master Says 320

Everything that moves on the screen is cinema. A film designed to teach children the alphabet as has much claim to be considered cinema as a grandiose production with psychological pretensions. In my view cinema is nothing but a new form of printing - another form of the total transformation of the world through knowledge. Louis Lumiere was another Gutenberg. His invention caused as many disasters as the dissemination of thought through books.

Jean Renoir

The Master Says 319

Discovering the truth about ourselves takes a lifetime, but it's worth the effort.

Mister Rogers

Giving the Dedicated a Little Hope

Stories like Melissa Leo's are inspiring. Someone that has worked hard got a chance to stretch a bit. Especially nice to see an older woman succeed in a culture concerned more with young ditz's with capped teeth and cleavage than the alluring beauty of artistry.

Grazie universo per una giustizia piccola,
Signore Direttore

Back in the New York Groove

Picked up Sway again after a two or three week hiatus. I was feeling a little off today, lacking a central connection. I read Chuck Pahlanuik's new novel Snuff after swimming a few laps in the pool. I ate dinner. Nothing seemed to satisfy my unsated appetite. So I said fuck it and opened my computer and started typing. I got a thousand words down. Not one of them seem worth a damn. I'm definitely out of touch with where I left off, but I'm not going to fret. Chuck's new book isn't great, but he writes it confidently. After reading it my work feels stodgy. I'm pretty sure I wasn't reading the hardcover first draft of Snuff. Besides, Snuff is in first person. That's almost cheating! Sounding clever and confident is much easier in first person. I've always found maintaining interest with the third person voice to be elusive. It is tough to keep it active and fresh. Overall I feel pretty fucking boring right now - too much practical responsibility going on. I buck at the reins of convention. Says the man who spent his morning buying appliances, sinks, faucets and heaters.
The groove will come back as soon as I stop judging.

Keeping the faith (really)
Signore Direttore

Made Crooked Theme

Vocals: Rose Stuart
Music: Mike Spicer
Lyrics: Neal Corl

Back in February, when we were getting on the plane leaving New York after shooting Joey's pickup scenes for Made Crooked, I had the idea that I wanted to write a song for Rose to sing that would express the film's theme. I quickly dismissed the idea as fantasy. But it ended up a reality. If you can dream it ...
I wrote the lyrics one Saturday evening a couple of weeks later. I've been working with the composer on the music and today Rose came over to "audition". I've heard she was a good singer but I had never heard her sing before today. I was very pleased with what she did in one quick take. This is very rough (though smoother than much of the film!), but I think it's great and I look forward to bringing it all together (the song, not the film) in the next couple of weeks. The film is getting closer. I think I've found an editor to do some work since Jordan's return from LA keeps getting delayed.

Grazie,
Signore Direttore

The Master Says 318

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

è chiamato lavoro

Down on my hands, well hand actually, and knees working non-stop this past week. Work, work, work. Frustrations of dealing with contractors, helpers, home centers, not enough time and an old fickle building. Della Court (don't know why it's called "court" since it's not a courtyard apartment) turns eighty this year. We've owned her since August of 1988. Going to great lengths to keep her looking almost as good as she was back when people didn't have televisions or even refrigerators. One of the apartments still has the old ice box.
It's a labor of love. I'm turning it over to a contractor to finish what I've started so I can get back to things more suited to me. We'll see how it goes. I'm trying to trust and let go of my perfectionism. I'm definitely looking forward to letting go of it a bit as I'm anxious to get all the units rented at full rate for the first time in four years. That income will allow me to return to writing Sway and other film projects. And to pay off the enormous debts we're taking on to finance these renovations.

Ciao,
Signore Direttore

The Master Says 317

I'm just smiling, thinking about all the poor human beings who allow themselves to love, whether they're artists or famous people or not.

Carl Theodor Dreyer

What A Week

Getting through weeks like this one takes its toll. Coming through productively takes more of a toll physically than upstairs. I'll take the physical and emotional exhaustion. Gladly.
I didn't do any writing on Sway. I'm a little bummed about that and a little frightened about getting back to the lovely flow I was enjoying. Trust. But I'm very forgiving of myself for not writing. I was leaving the house well before eight each day and getting home between ten and eleven. I barely saw my family.
I had a lot of doctor's appointments for my wrist, including a new set of x-rays. There was a specialist in town yesterday for a conference that worked on it. He gave my doctor some insight and was able to unlock some of the tendons restoring about fifteen percent more movement. I'm now at about fifty percent.
I also narrowed our choice of editors for DW to two. I know who I want to go with but I'm giving myself the weekend to come to a final decision. It's been awesome watching the footage again. I think that movie is going to be very compelling; if I got all the pieces, that is. I'm excited to see it come together. Definitely going to defy convention.
I've been working away with my left hand and some helpers on our apartment building, running to the hardware store twice a day, getting bids from tile setters, painters and carpenters. I'm finally seeing the light and can now walk away until Monday morning.
I've also been prepping my first shoot for my new corporate client.
And I'm finishing the second week of a totally sugar, gluten, wheat and dairy free diet based on the results of a food allergen test I took a few weeks back. It's been tough, but I feel pretty good.
Late-nights, I managed to squeeze in a few episodes of Deadwood and I read a crime novel by George Pelecanos, one of the writers and producers of The Wire. Good stuff.
So I'm going to treat myself to a matinee in a few minutes - Baghead. Then it's home for a swim and off to a party with my family.
I might get back to Sway for a few hours tomorrow. We'll see.

Ciao,
Signore Direttore

The Master Says 316

Success and failure are equally disastrous.

Tennessee Williams

The David Milch School Of Screenwriting

From Something Awful dot com:
by David Milch


Hi there. I'm David fucking Milch. You may remember me as the creative tour-de-force behind Deadwood, a critically acclaimed HBO series that ended prematurely so that I could launch John From Cincinnati. Some people say that was like ending Seinfeld in season 3 to jump right into The Michael Richards Show, but those people don't understand the subtlety and nuance of ten annoying surfers in varying states of insanity wandering around and getting into pointless arguments with one another until there's a clumsy physical altercation and a pointless "mysterious" ending.

This is a summation of the lessons that I learned during my transition from Deadwood to John From Cincinnati. How I grew as a writer. The mistakes I made with Deadwood. What I was doing right all along. Hopefully it can help someone out there to get into the business of writing television that's half as good as the stuff I make.
YOUR FIRST STEP

Your first step is to think of what genre you want to work in. There's a lot of them, right? Seems like you've got a tough choice ahead of you, but you don't. The only genre you need to work in is "a group of loosely connected people stand on a beach and stare off into the ocean when they take a break from mysterious things happening to them".

I know what you're thinking. That's basically Lost, right? No. Lost was simply the first show to work within this genre. There have been hundreds of westerns and thousands of comedies. Is it right for there to be just one show about a group of loosely connected people that stand on a beach and stare off into the ocean when they take a break from mysterious things happening to them? I think not.

Working in this genre is great because, really, you can write whatever you want and you can make it fit since the show will be "mysterious". Let's say you want to write some sci-fi, specifically shit about astronauts and rockets and the like. Go ahead and write your astronaut story, then have those astronauts crash land on this crazy beach where things aren't as they seem. The astronauts can come across the sandswept top floors of the World Trade Center's twin towers. Punctuate even the worst episode with an ending like that and people will tune in next week, guaranteed.

Actually, no. Don't use that. That's my idea.
Another Step

Many young writers make the mistake of giving their characters actions that make sense within the framework of each person's motivations and personality. I was guilty of this myself while working on Deadwood.

See, if a character merely does what you would reasonably expect him to do, there's no real room for unpredictability. No way to leave your creative fingerprints smudged all over every frame of the show.

Those of you who are eagle-eyed will notice that two characters from John From Cincinnati are essentially the same person. One talks to a bird and one talks to a stuffed bear, and when the bear and bird aren't around each man speaks to himself / God / ghosts. Everyone else on the show is equally crazy but in a general way that doesn't make sense or follow any guidelines. Do you have any idea how much freedom that gives me to be creative?

Characterization is a burden. It will only weigh you down.

Exercise:

While sitting at a stoplight, Scott's car is rear-ended by a teenage girl who wasn't paying attention. Scott...

A. Calls for a police officer and writes down the girl's insurance information. The girl is apologetic and has a particularly difficult time coping with her role in the accident because her own daughter was killed by a motorist who hadn't been paying attention. (WRONG)

B. Gets out of the car, lays down in traffic and begins singing a song about aliens as the damage to his car fixes itself. The teenage girl places a hand on her stomach and knows in that instant that she is pregnant. A Latino man holding a sing reading "The End Is Near" gets peed on by a magic dog and turns into an Asian. (Ding ding!)

Dialog Step

Perhaps the most important aspect of writing truly great television (and naturally something I've always been good at) is coming up with dialog that just barely resembles what each character is trying to say. When people have to work to understand what the hell is going on, they presume (correctly!) that they must be watching fine art.

I could explain this, but I'm not that good of a writer so I'll just show you through an example. Casey does not want a drink that his friend Adam is offering, but he does want to use his phone.

Adam: Want a drink?
Casey: No thanks. Mind if I use your phone, though? It's a local call. I'll make it quick.

That's horrible. Now let's punch it up by making that exchange harder to follow.

Adam: As I would offer to others who were in my house if they were here and desired it, what say you to a serving of this not-air not-earth not-fire element?
Casey: If I were to answer you in the positive I would be the embodiment of the title of that Henry Rollins Band hit from the mid-90's, and half the embodiment of the title of that Jim Carrey lawyer movie. How much of a strain on our friendship would it be if instead I asked for a rendezvous with one of your appliances which I hold close to my head and stimulate with my mouth?

Better. Not quite there yet, but better. As I learned from Deadwood, cursing is the ultimate hot sauce. It goes great with everything. Let's revise the exchange accordingly.

Adam: As I'd fucking just as soon offer it to others, I'm telling you that a glass of that liquid pleasure can pass between your cocksucking lips if you indicate in the affirmatory.
Casey: Much as I appreciate your gesture of motherfucking kindness, I'd like to communicate with another cocksucker via your telephonic voice relay device.

Now we apply the lessons learned from John From Cincinnati. Anger, insanity, mystery.

Adam: (to a chair) I'd offer it to him, but I doubt he'd... no, no. You're right. (long shot of the chair, with the camera slowly zooming in) Hey, you shitbird! Why don't you partake in this once in a lifetime offer of what some who appreciate potables might accept gladly?
Casey: (pushes Adam onto the ground and pulls out a gun) This is the cocksucking end. I wanted to ask of you a question that would possibly lead me to using your receiver and dialing pad but the device communicated with me directly from across the room vis-a-vis my left and right hemisphere. It told me... (an old scar on his cheek vanishes) These things cannot be undone unless we have fucking started them. All is Babylon.

Boom. Instant classic. That's all I have time for, as I'm off to get John From Cincinnati canceled so I can start a new show about angry, insane people who experience mysterious events as they comb a beach for buried treasure and bottle caps. Good luck out there!

(He just might have lost his mind. Or he's onto something the rest of us haven't caught on to yet. ciao, signore direttore)

Now Hiring

I started the face to face phase of hiring an editor for Dangerous Writing this morning. We've come up with a bit of money to pay someone. There are several interesting prospects coming through in the next couple of days.
It was very good to open up some clips from the film and watch them again. It's been awhile. One of the things that struck me in the six random clips we watched this morning was how good many of the performances are.
I'm looking forward to seeing it cut together even in rough cut form. Maybe sooner than later.

Signore Direttore

Jane Gallagher, please Demo | Teaser

It's been a number of years since I've just played around in Final Cut Pro. My friend, the one who's doing the music for Made Crooked, sent me a track to try out on some other shorts. So I selected one of the scenes from the JGp assembly and messed around with it.
I don't think it will fit the tone of the final story, who knows, but I may play around with the cuts to black that I tried out here.

Happy Get Drunk and Blow Off One of Your Fingers Day,
Signore Direttore

Folk Wisdom 040

Some people simply aren't happy unless they're unhappy.

(And I hope I'm not one of them, at least not perpetually)

Ripping and Running

I typed 11,000 words between Friday and Saturday night. This story is just pouring out of me. I haven't gone back and read any of it except for the occasional checking of where I left one timeline or another. It has totally earned my trust. I couldn't have planned the structure any better. There are plenty of places where it's going to need work. I'm bringing my screenwriting experience into play and just trying to get the first draft down as fast as possible. I can and will make more passes later. This method keeps me moving and allows the narrative voice to emerge without too much interference. I've never been able to sustain third person this long without having it start to sound painfully prosaic. I'm not sure yet, but I think rhythm has been the key. And the rhythm has come as a result of not being precious.

¡Viva!
Signore Direttore

Talk about steady

I've been kicking out 2500 words a day in about three and a half hours of writing this week.
I now know where the story is going and roughly where I'd like to end up. I have a couple of turning points or mileposts to hit but the rest I'm discovering as I go. I've found some real gold.
I don't want to talk about it too specifically just yet, but I'm trusting where it's taking me and it feels right in so many ways.
Today I was feeling very confident that I do indeed have a book in Sway. Almost immediately I fretted about the next one. I worried that the temporal shifts I'm riding are not going to fly in every book. I quickly told myself to stop it and went on with my day.
In other news, I'm considering buying a used Mercedes. I took the car I was looking at to get an inspection at a specialist that a friend recommended. It turns out that my mother used to bring her cars to the same shop. They remembered her when I said that my mother's real estate office used to be across the street from their shop. Funny thing was their shop used to be in a different location when they worked on her cars. It was a pleasure to speak about her in a neutral and friendly way. They were sad to hear that she had died and said they had wondered why she had stopped coming in.
Another happy coincidence, and may be responsible in part for the inspiration for Sway, is that my old friend Charlie Kohlmeyer sent me a script yesterday. I ran into him at Reed a few weeks ago when I was shooting a concert for the college. He was in town playing with a band from New Orleans. The band leader said Charlie's name when he introduced the band. My eyes traveled instantly to his feet. Sure enough he was playing in socks - it was the same Charlie Kohlmeyer. I knew him in New York when I was booking gigs for jazz bands. Very good guy. Not surprising that he was back in New Orleans where he's originally from. So many of the jazz musicians I knew in New York were originally from New Orleans or St. Louis. Turns out he'd written a screenplay. He said he was going to send it to me, but when we talked after the gig it was way past my bed time and I kind of forgot about it. He sent it to me yesterday and made me see the connection to my awakening to a period of my life that I reference only in passing. I haven't read his script yet, but I'm looking forward to it. I told him about Sway and he said he would be glad to help with any of the technical research stuff. It's going otbe fun for him to read and try to figure out who the characters are from real life and which one might be him. I think the drummer in socks might give it away. Actually I made the drummer in the band the solid good guy and roommate to the protagonist. Interesting, I wasn't aware of that until just now.
Another funny thing about that is the friend that introduced us, Ingrid Lucia of the Flying Neutrinos (who is also back in NoLa, had called him for a gig that day that we ran into each other. She only calls him a few times a year, he said.

Ta,
Signore Direttore

Steady Positioning

After writing prose for an hour yesterday I spent several hours editing. In between I made a blog entry and updated my word count. I was very energized by both my continued progress and the joy of the work of writing. Hence my cocky banter in the face of balance. It was more an expression of separation anxiety from something that was giving me a lot of joy. I realized as I sat diligently cutting, even skipping dinner, that I was experiencing balance in my life to a greater degree than when I haven't been creative.
I received a comment to my post yesterday that was since deleted by its author . I read the deleted comment in the email that was sent to me alerting me of a new comment. I can see why its author deleted it. He or she might fear I could easily misinterpret the intent and the tone of the comment that expressed some concern about unfinished films getting the attention they need. I'm going to trust that the intent was meant to encourage both my new endeavor, albeit faintly, as well as to prompt my commitment to projects in progress especially as they relate to the mutual interest of my collaborators. Which is all fair and good. To be honest I would have rather heard something privately, but I know this party is busy and under strain in their own affairs. To be really honest I would like to have heard some genuine and enthusiastic support for my recent accomplishments with writing. There's no resentment on my part, I just have decided to take the opportunity to be very transparent about things.
A large part of maintaining balance is making oneself independent of the judgment and expectations of others. That sort of dependence will keep you down. I told this other friend I was writing a novel. He asked me the first line. Because that's the clincher you know, he added. I told him I didn't know because I didn't fuck about for three days coming up with a precious Call me Ishmael in order to avoid writing the first ten thousand words. I'm going to keep writing and iron out the kick ass opening when and if it presents itself. I didn't feel compelled to share much more about the project with that friend. Which is fine. I'm at a point finally where I don't live off of the approval of others. I might still like it or even crave it at times, but I can move forward on my own juice.
When it comes to finishing films I do hold an obligation to those that have given their talent, time and, in some cases, money to our projects. I want to make it clear that I remain dedicated to those films. I am working on them all the time. I am paying for them all the time. I maintain an office and the equipment on which they are being post-produced and archived. I provide endless favors to those that are working for “free”. I am working with actors, producers, picture and sound editors, compositors, musicians, composers, as well as mounting grass roots publicity with no budgets whatsoever. There's also a dearth of moral support. Inquiries regarding the projects' status are often tentative and sometimes even scornful. No one has ever said, Let me know if I can help. That's taking nothing from the many that have come generously forth when asked. Or from those that earnestly express eagerness to see them in their finished forms.
The previous paragraph outlines what I'm doing to finish the films I've produced and directed. Hopefully it reads as evidence of my determination to get these tiny little films out into the world in spite of the seeming Sisyphean nature of the process. There's something else though. Doing the aforementioned doesn't feed me in any way whatsoever. Seeing things come together in an edit or doing something creative like writing and singing a theme song offer me much joy. But most of the time I just want to make another film or blog or do just about anything than slog away at cleaning up the mess of shooting on a micro budget with a pro/am cast and crew and a tyro at the helm.

To offer a clear status report of some of my unfinished films in the order they were produced:

London Calling
I hate it and I often doubt I will ever finish it.

But a Dream
Finalizing edit with an editor that is on a job indefinitely in LA, looking for a new sound designer after the first one flaked repeatedly for three months, finalizing titles and promotional materials with graphic designer.
Projected completion date: August 15

Made Crooked
Finalizing edit with an editor that is on a job indefinitely in LA, working on music with composer, beginning publicity
Projected completion date: December 31

Blowing Up
Waiting for sound editor to finalize sweetening, waiting for compositor to doctor a few shots
Projected completion date: August 1

Dangerous Writing
Haven't touched it and don't plan to until Made Crooked is completed
Projected completion date: Summer 2009

The other 15+ shorts sitting un- or partially edited on my hard-drives:
I can't think of anything that I don't want to finish and I'll get to them as I can

In the meantime I will be working on my novel. I can get down a couple of thousand words a day and still leave plenty of time for editing or even for avoiding editing. The writing is filling a void in me and when that ravenous vacuum is filled it restores a lot of my energy. So who knows, maybe this writing distraction will actually prove to enable more activity on the post-production front than it will detract from it.

Part of me questioned whether my word count meter belongs on Finding Fellini. Would it raise suspicions that my commitment to filmmaking is wavering? Have I gone off in search of a new creative pursuit? Not at all. I'm still very interested in creating films. Unfortunately, I don't find being a post-production coordinator/PR officer/IT technician/bookkeeper/colorist all that creative. Fellini was a director and sometimes writer. He didn't produce or edit his films. He sure as hell didn't repair the Moviola when it broke down. Maybe if I were as talented as he I would have people clamoring to do those things for me, but I don't. So I'm going to keep doing my best with what little resources I've got. And I'm going to remember that this blog doesn't serve to chronicle my quest toward achieving what Fellini the director accomplished. Nor is it an apologia. It is about finding the maestro inside of me, my creative center that allows me to express myself freely. The closer I get to that, the more I understand what balance truly is.

Much love to you all,
Signore Direttore

Could this be love?

I'm at my office today trying to finish the edits of the scenes from Magnolia for class tonight. I spent too long installing necessary updates on some computer applications and just wanted to do a little writing on Sway before getting started on the cutting.
Two hours and nineteen hundred and some odd words later I'm not feeling like switching from Word to Final Cut Pro. From my crush to my battle-ax. Not at all. But the clock ticks forward and there's only three hours until class.
They might call it balance. They might remind you it's a verb. But you don't have to like it. I sure as hell don't.

Signore Direttore

The Great American ...

... Novel. At least I'm writing what I would like to think is going to be novel. Once begun half done, as it were. I've been all over the place lately in a fearful way trying to determine a new course for my life. Nothing drastic, like some big left turn away from making films, but searching for some complementary path that would provide some income, stability and structure. I decided for now to keep my head in the sand where money is concerned and stick to my strengths. Writing scripts always gives me the production jones, so I've been thinking about returning to prose after a seven year break. Then Friday I landed a job making some tasteful, albeit corporate, videos. I didn't think about it until now, but the influx of paid work must have cleared a little space for me to start writing.

Basically I just started writing, trusting that the story and the structure would reveal itself. Which may sound naive, but I'm not someone that has always thought it would be cool to write a novel and just sat down to do it. I've been writing for twenty-five years or more - thousands of pages of stories, plays, screenplays, poetry, journals/blogs. I've even written the first draft of a novel before. I've also been analyzing stories from the perspectives of an English and Spanish Lit student, actor, director and acting coach for as long as I've been writing. What's more, I'm a born storyteller. Some of my friends, especially those from the first twenty some years of my life, might have another name for my endless spinning of yarns.
Writing is something that comes easy for me and as such I've tended to take it for granted. Or perhaps there's some psychological aversion to pursuing something I'm good at for fear of actually being seen as good at something. Because as much as I might crave attention, I shrink from it at the same time.
Anyway, I kicked out 1500 words the first evening. Then another 6000 the next day. And another 2500 this morning, bringing my total to 10,000. Another 90,00o and I'll have a first draft!
It's called Sway. The protagonist is Eugene Morris, the singer and manager of a jazz band that plays weddings and tourist bar gigs in New York City. It's a world I know well and I'm stepping into it again with a new fictional friend leading the way.
I could have spent a lot of time reading books on writing novels or taking notes or joining a writing group or even taken a course, but I decided to just trust that I might know a bit more about this than I give myself credit. Besides it doesn't matter if it's good or it sells or anything like that. It only matters that I keep typing.

Signore Escrittore

Movies as of late

Some movies I've seen lately, graded academically

Ironman B+
Quai de les Orfevres A
Zodiac A-
The Birds C
Indiana Jones IV. D
Harry Potter I. B-
The Passenger A+
If.... A
The Killers (Siodmak) B
The Killers (Seigal) C
Killer of Sheep. C
Lilya 4-ever A
Dave Chappelle's House Party A
Casino Royale (2007) C-
Paris j'taime A-

Into Action

It was good to air a little frustration yesterday. Not only to get it off my mind, but it also prompted a little cutting work. One of those things where I do it and then go; What was I dreading? Or; Is that it?
I'm going to a little more today. I'm thinking a couple of hours everyday minimum and see where that leads.

Signore Direttore

Editing Doldrums

It really isn't the season to be doing a lot of editing. I don't know though if I think any season is the right time of year to toil away in front of a computer screen. I've been able to let it go for a while now. It being the whole lot of films that I've yet to finish. It takes a long time, sure it does. But it takes even longer when I don't cut anything because I only have a few hours here and there and I use that as an excuse not to do any editing at all.
Today I put together an assembly of something for this month's class in about an hour. It's hard for me to edit. I just see what should have or could have been - I don't see the possibilities in what's there.
Even when I direct I sometimes find myself going, oh I like this but it isn't going to cut together - fuck it let's just shoot it. I've been trying to balance out finding golden moments with the more practical continuity concerns. Traditional coverage is so boring and yet free flowing masters are really hard to cover.
Really it's all about sitting down to do it. Which is the hardest friggin part of it for me. I do much better when I'm in the habit of doing just that.
What I really want to do is shoot a film. I know however that I really need to finish a few before I begin anything new. There's a lot of reasons for that. I think I would get a lot more support in many ways if I had some films finished. I have received a tremendous amount of support so far, for which I'm extremely grateful. Another kick ass reason to finish some films.
Of course films plural is a bit overwhelming and contributes to my malaise.


Signore Direttore

The Master Says 315

I've always found it difficult to find people who understand what I'm trying to do and who don't think I'm completely mad.

Lindsay Anderson

The Master Says 314

If a man has talent and can't use it, he's failed. If he uses only half of it, he has partly failed. If he uses the whole of it, he has succeeded, and won a satisfaction and triumph few men ever know.

Thomas Wolfe

The Master Says 313

Chaos is a friend of mine.

Bob Dylan

The Master Says 312

The camera is the eye of the marvelous. When the eye of the cinema really sees, the whole world goes up in flames.

Luis Bunuel

Piling on the Pounds

I gave that JGp assembly another look last night. I was able to give in a bit more to the experience of it. As such I'm starting to fatten it up and trust that it's okay to let the thing be as long as it needs. Patiently and courageously allowing it to reveal itself to me.

Grazie
Signore Direttore

Nothing Matters

I'm feeling a bit insecure about this, hearing voices in my head. One of the reasons I dislike acting in my own films is the lack of separation for myself and often the viewer. Where does one begin their criticism? And that's exactly the problem - my experience of the film begins with critique. I want to move toward experiencing things and offering experiences. However, I think I'm caught up in striving and seeking the approval of other strivers. In our scramble toward becoming we are missing at least some of the joys of the journey, I'm afraid.
Several weeks ago I sent a couple of scripts to an actor with whom I've been interested in working. He hit me back with notes on the scripts from a writer's perspective. It doesn't really matter whether the notes were good or bad. I didn't even write one of the scripts. I was just trying to get a sense of his taste and interest. As a result I have a better idea of what he's like and whether I want to work with him.
When I imagine giving him a copy of this film, I recoil. Because I don't want to be reproached for doing something I've enjoyed. Because someone like him (or me) is not going to take it in. We can't. We are so practiced in deconstructing every element, that there's no joy or possibility even of simply experiencing something.
Salinger wrote this dedication in one of his books - “to the amateur reader, if he exists anywhere”. I'm feeling a bit like an over-educated Rodney King - Why can't we all just read a book or a film for pleasure? I'm guilty, guilty, guilty of the inability to do exactly that. And letting go of it is likely the answer to enjoying my own work as well as that of my peers.
As I cut the assembly of 'Jane Gallagher, please', from which the above clip is taken, I oscillated wildly between doubt and pride. But I doubted the pride more quickly than good feelings ever quieted my trepidation. Nonetheless, I carried on and stayed with it, which is progress that must be noted.
There's a guy in a hotel room that spends twenty-four hours waiting for his lover to show up. He leaves the room, but we don't go with him. He only talks to other people on the phone for the most part. “Nothing really happens” said my collaborator. Fellini said a film should be like watching the ends of a string unravel. I'm obsessed with this idea. And I'm working on it diligently. Brian is wrong - A lot happens in the film. Brian is right - Nothing happens in this film. It's like life. Especially from a nihilistic view of things.
Ultimately, I think I'm just scratching at the surface of what I want to say in my films. The takes in 'Jane Gallagher, please' are very long. This clip will likely remain this long in the finished film. Going to require some patience. Some of my viewers will be much more patient than I am. And the impatient viewers will be made all the more impatient by my lack of confidence in asking for their assiduity.
This project may fall into the category of yet another exercise. On the one hand, I'm grateful to have the resources and the determination to trudge onward. On the other hand, I fear that I'm unable to accomplish the task of completing a film that I can stand behind or next to or in front of or ...
Looking from the outside it's hard to believe other filmmakers need as much fucking practice as I seem to be requiring. It's difficult to trust that my journey is valid and that it's permissible to experience its joys.
One thing I've read and been encouraged by was an interview with the actor and short film director Matthew Modine. He says he sees a lot of movie credits behind short films and urges short filmmakers to keep it simple. Whether Mr. Modine would like my films or not is questionable, but he's sure to be impressed by the compactness of my credits. 'Jane Gallagher, please' - written, directed, acted, edited and produced by neal. camera, lights, sound by brian. c0-starring naomi.
Oh, and one more thing - I've become obsessed with the Bourne movies. I think Paul Greengrass is brilliant. So strike my scathing assessment of him a few months back. I'm looking forward to the 2010 Jason Bourne project with delighted anticipation.

Please dear god, in whom I don't believe, give me the strength to be an amateur.

Signore Direttore

The Master Says 312

All good acting is about detail. It's about
fighting generality.

Paul Greengrass

The Master Says 311

Technique has to enrich the action.

Francois Truffaut

Camera Points of View

There is one thing with regard to filmmaking where I've long agreed and possibily fallen under the spell of Mamet's didacticism. It is the idea that the fundamental art of cinema is montage - that the story is best told in the cuts. Therefore Mamet abhors the Steadicam. For a long time I too rejected it. My first experience directing with one opened my mind to its possibilities as well as confirmed and alerted me to its limitations.
For a long time now I've put a lot of practice into keeping the camera stationary. The fixed camera performs a double underlining of what it sees, both through the choice of its field of view and through the way in which it allows the elements in the frame to speak as and for themselves. There is great power and mystery in that stillness. Still waters run deep as it were. I've attempted to create a language that structures the world on the screen, inviting a dialogue with the viewer by inviting them into an autonomous cognitive process. Moving the camera about to create eye candy and show the viewer everything encourages a passive experience, an entertainment which has its place but something which I don't aspire to author.
At the same time I recognize the incredible power in discovering the cinematic space and altering point of view through movement. To do so organically and artistically requires discipline and imagination. I explored it in Dangerous Writing and I've been practicing more mise en scene movement. It's challenging to choreograph something both interesting and motivated. It's also a challenge to obtain the necessary dollies and other means of moving the camera without a budget.
I'm beginning an in-depth exploration of the Steadicam. I'll keep you posted. (potential Steadicam humor noted)

With an open mind,
Signore Direttore

The Master Says 310

Nothing is more odious than music without hidden meaning.

Chopin

Bright Shiny Morning

Just read James Frey's new book on the flight home. Los Angeles is a magical place. It's cloudy today in Portland but the morning has been bright for me due to the time away. There's much down there that's objectionable, yet I always come away inspired in profound ways.
To work. To work. To work.

Grazie Los Angeles,
Signore Direttore

Good Company

I've spent most of the past two days in my hotel room. I know what that might signify to one of my readers in particular, but I assure you this isolation has been very productive and social. First off, my hotel room is on the beach in Santa Monica and has a wonderful vista North up the beach to where it meets Pacific Palisades. Secondly, I've had some wonderful guests. I spent a lot of money on a nice hotel room and passed on renting a car while here. (The first night I was here, I stayed with a friend in the legendary El Royale Apartments.) Being in LA without a car works for me. There's not a central plan to Los Angeles, its proprietors and residents rely on people getting in their cars and driving everywhere. When I was younger I enjoyed racing around the city, but when I come here now I like to plant myself somewhere and keep a small footprint. The people that I want to see don't seem to mind coming to me and then they take me where they like to go. Los Angeles is full of hidden treasures that are impossible to stumble upon while driving on its major arterials. More than almost any city you have to go native. Which is impossible driving around by yourself in a rental car.
I brought my camera package along on this trip. No particular plan in mind. Maybe some roadside shooting on the drive down. I should clarify the drive down - my friend drove his car and I paid for gas and manned the ipod. I actually drove for only about three of the fifteen hour drive. (As soon as my kids are old enough to drive, I'm never getting behind the wheel again!) Anyway a possibility arose to shoot something with an actor friend and his wife. Sort of last minute. He's not super inclined toward improvisation so I wanted to come up with a script. My archives contained nothing that seemed appropriate. I made some notes but with the trip soon upon me I found no time to get something down on paper. I woke up early Thursday under the soaring ornate ceiling of my bedroom at the El Royale and being somewhat influenced by the previous night's Mamet experience, I was able to knock out a fourteen page screenplay in about an hour and a half.
Upon arriving at The Huntley Santa Monica that afternoon I was feeling very good about shooting this short film while here. There was never a firm commitment on the part of the actors I wrote it for, so the thought was growing in my mind that if they couldn't make it I would do it. An hour later he let me know that it wasn't going to work with their schedule this weekend. I would have liked to work with him again and with his wife for the first time, but I wasn't disappointed. I sent some emails to some actresses I know down here. Since I hadn't spoken to many of them for quite some time and with little time to spare I posted on Craigslist for the role as well.
The first person that responded was love at first sight - pretty in a simple and down to earth way. I wrote her a very candid message telling her of the Spartan way in which I often work. Which was going to be the leanest yet of all my films - cameraman and director-actor. We also shot it in a hotel room, which is one of those no-no red flag things for actors. I didn't hear back from her that night. All the other submissions were the typical shiny, breast-enhanced LA actress-model types. One of whom is somewhat famous. I tried to stress how tiny our production was going to be in a correspondence with her personal assistant, but I could tell that until I spelled it out for her that tiny meant like a crew of fifteen. Somewhat Famous couldn't meet me until Saturday morning, the day of her scene so I passed. I woke up Friday feeling a little like maybe it wasn't meant to be. I questioned how willful I wanted to get. i didn't have to wonder long before I heard from Naomi, the first one to respond. We met for coffee and decided to work together. It rained here on Friday, really just a few drizzles, but everyone was running around with umbrellas. The coffee shop where we met had put away all its outside tables so our meeting took place in a doorway in the rain. It was less than ideal, but being with her felt instantly comfortable and any awkwardness of venue went entirely unnoticed.
Brian was able to come up with a 35mm adapter for our shoot. It proved to be essential as shooting a ten plus minute film in one small room without shallow focus would have had grave limitations. When showing some of the footage last night to a friend that knows my work well, he said it's the prettiest film I've ever made. I've always been a it skeptical about those lens adapters. Until now. Working with the discipline of the fixed focal length and shallow depth of field of prime lenses was a welcome adjustment and challenge. I've done a fair share of working with cine lenses on my projects shot on film, but I've always had a few weeks to prepare and plan the shots. For this short, I had to write, cast, prepare to direct and play the lead role in less than twenty four hours. And I didn't have a chance to print the script out so I had to read and memorize my lines from the computer. Good thing I love a challenge.
I really enjoyed making the film. I like acting. I like working with Brian. We started shooting Friday afternoon, stopped shooting and went to sleep at 1am, woke up at 7:30 and got our first shot off by 8. Took a breakfast break from 10 to noon and wrapped at 7. During all of this there was but a moment of tension. We were shooting a scene wherein I was coming back to the room from a swim and dropped my swimming trunks to the floor before sitting at the desk to make a phone call. I was dripping wet in one of the hotel robes, becoming naked under the robe every few minutes. Not a big deal except that the actress whose trust I earned to come shoot in a hotel room with total strangers was due to arrive any minute. I really didn't want to greet her soaking wet and naked in a robe. Brian calmly stated in the most generous of tones that he didn't feel we were communicated very well. To which I admitted my mounting stress of the aforementioned circumstances. He understood. I reined in my stress and its attendant bitter tone and all was simpatico once more.
I was able to get some clothes on just as Naomi arrived. Our scene went great and as I walked her down to the lobby I was sad our new friendship seemed to be over so soon.
When we wrapped a little while later, I commented to Brian that it was somewhat odd that we would come to LA and work on a film in the way that we did. I said one of the main benefits was the elimination of distractions. He sagely remarked on the irony of that.
For my last evening in Los Angeles I was invited to a dinner party at the home of an old friend. I worked closely with Alexa for a little over a year in New York. First as her acting classmate and sometimes scene partner and then as her acting coach. I also cast her in a film and the strangest play I ever directed. I heard so much about her family that I was surprised there was but mom, dad and a sister. However it didn't take long to understand why her family loomed large in my imagination. They are perhaps the warmest, most interesting and talented families I've ever met. Their home was full of art curators, actors, a French director, writers, a prominent political activist, a film editor and a couple of eager dogs for the dinner party. Jordan was my date. We were made to feel instantly welcome. There's no joy like having a truly interesting person take an interest in you. It brings me to tears.
I'll tell you how good the company was - and if you know what a goddamn yakker I can be, this will say a lot - I sat for the first three hours of the party listening. I can't remember the last time that happened without feeling left out.
Later in the evening I was having a chat with Alexa's brother-in-law. We spoke of Portland and he told me an interesting story about a large scale environmental installation art project in Arizona. After openly and actively listening to his stories, I was able to answer his questions about my work with an easy articulation of my deepest values as a filmmaker. I wasn't trying to impress him in the least. I became almost self-conscious about my candor. Then he said, I also curate a film festival and your work sounds like the kind of stuff I love. I knew there were other film people out there that were interested, I just don't meet them very often. It seems that most independent filmmakers I know personally are trying to emulate Hollywood and break in or they make films about seaweed and kitchen appliances on Super8 which they develop and process in their bathroom.
Who would have thought that I would come to Los Angeles to work in privacy and socialize with people that inspire me to be myself? It's almost as surprising as the amazing week I once spent in Cleveland.

Gratefully Yours,
Signore Direttore

SLUT - Set Photos

Jeremy (Brendan Robinson) has to go to the movies with his mom (Christy Drogosch). Things go from bad to worse when she wants to talk to him about sex.


Now that Jordan is out of the way, we can finally take some time to light things properly.



Tab Rocks! Misty cigarettes rock! Mom jeans rock! CHRISTY ROCKS!

Vaporized Disappointment

Los Angeles
City of Angels
That's not smog
It's vaporized dissapointment

- Miss Lola Belle

Here I am once more. Los Angeles. It's hard to come down here and not feel vulnerable. Some of the people that I'm fortunate enough to know and spend time with while I'm here are accomplished. Their careers are in play. Of course they want more success and more rewards, but they have crossed thresholds that I have not.
Much of what I know in theory about the craft and the business of making films, they practice. What I hold as ideals they sometimes reject as impractical, unlikely or simply naive.
My path is not the same as theirs and I don't know if our paths will ever cross. More so than ever I see that my ideas are my own and while they may be challenged by those that live and work within the industry they remain valid. I don't want to be a part of this at the expense of my own vision. There are people here with much skill and knowledge to be sure. I admire and envy their talent and experience. I'm even inspired by it. However, it is very apparent that what I want to do and what these people are doing are very different beasts. Cross-breeding is possible, but one must tread cautiously. Thinking of myself as a digital folk artist feels more and more appropriate.

Independently Yours,
Signore Direttore

The Master Says 309

I don't say that we ought to all misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could.

Orson Welles

Glimpses of the Good Inside

In 1998, about a month after my mother died, one of my roommates from my junior year abroad at a Mexican university came to New York City for a visit. A couple of years later I apologized to Mauricio for not being more attentive to him during his visit. He rejected my apology completely. He reminded me of some of the things I had done for him during the visit, saying they were some of the best memories of his life.
Looking back, his visit was very full of excitement and I was quite generous toward him. I suppose the source of my remorse came from my disconnected spirit. My life was very full and successful on the outside. On the inside I was miserable, very full of grief from my mother's recent suicide. My grieving loneliness was accentuated by a string of failed relationships with women and an overall feeling that I was incapable of enjoying an authentic relationship with another human being. The buoyant enthusiasm of my days in Mexico were a thing of the distant past.
Others often see the good in us, thankfully. Especially when we are most blind to it. With some years behind me I too can see the good that was in me even when I wasn't at my best. This came to mind this morning while thinking about an upcoming road trip to Los Angeles. I was contemplating some places to stop and shoot some footage - texture or some storytelling, not sure yet. The Olive Tree came to mind, which is in the desolate valley alongside I-5. One mid-Summer long ago my girlfriend and I were driving to Portland from LA. It was hot. I mean hot. No relief. My little convertible didn't have AC. Putting the top down just made it hot and windy. We tried hosing ourselves down with the water at a gas station but the water was scalding. Finally we jumped into a motel swimming pool without checking in as guests. After awhile we huddled together in a corner of the pool and had sex. I don't know if it was the heat or what, but I totally lost all inhibition. We climbed out of the pool and made our way across the parking lot, feeling both sheepish and satisfied. As I was looking back to see if anyone had seen us this guy on a big Harley appeared out of nowhere. I think he had been there all along. He smiled at us and said hello. He was really nice looking. He seemed really calm. Kind of freaked me out. We said hey and kept walking toward the Tastee Treat. My girlfriend said that's Johnny Depp. Who's that? He's on 21 Jump Street. We got to the Tastee Treat and ate lunch. She said, we should have invited him to come eat with us. Yeah, maybe.
Then around the time Mauricio was in NYC, Johnny Depp was hanging around Lansky Lounge, the club where I promoted parties. He was pals with this infamous tattoo artist called Jonathan Shaw, son of the band leader Artie Shaw. I hired Mauricio to do our mailing list at the party that night. After the club closed Johnny Depp, JS, Chris Antista, one of the owners of the club, and some girls were sitting in a booth having drinks. A bunch of us were going on a late-night/early morning trip to Atlantic City in my 1950 Cadillac. Mauricio passed for some reason. So did Johnny Depp. Before we left, I wanted to ask Johnny if he remembered that afternoon in California, but it didn't seem appropriate somehow. Instead I used my five minutes with him to introduce him to Mauricio. The gesture and Johnny's simple but warm conversation blew Mauricio away.
I guess I'm not such an awful friend after all.

The Master Says 308

Once they're in that starting position and ready to go, it's really a case of nurturing, and trusting, and letting them have a good time. I don't even mean, by having a good time, laughing on the set - although we have a lot of that at times. But what I mean is being allowed to make mistakes, being allowed to try things. The key is that you all agree that you're making the same film.

Martin Scorcese

Screening Party Revelation

I screened five of my short films for my in-laws the other night after a wonderful dinner at Wildwood. I noticed that there's a common element in my films of a type of visual gag where things end up being much different than anticipated. A clever little twist. Having seen it in four of five films, I felt, I don't how I felt exactly. Like , Oh I didn't realize I was doing that so often. Kind of like an actor's bag of tricks. I guess I wanted to work on that for awhile and now that I have, I want to leave it be for awhile. It's not like some cheap party trick or anything, it's just something I've noticed now that I have a a few finished projects.

¡viva!
Signore Dirretore

Reshoots, Actor-Students and In-laws

I'm knackered. The kind of tired that's bone deep physically and a fog has rolled in mentally that seems will never lift. Which isn't to say I'm unhappy. We reshot some scenes from But A Dream today. It went really well and was well worth doing. It was all just boots on the ground, but all of our stuff in that category was pretty shite. Usually cutaways to feet would be weird, but in a film about the fear of taking a step forward lest you be blown to smithareens, cutaways to boots are pretty important.
I guess it was meant to be because the weather was absolutely perfect until we were loading the gear and Greg was unloading the mags. It started sprinkling and it was pouring as we drove home from Sauvie Island. We had a soft, even cloud cover for all of our shots. Beautiful. Brendan did a great job standing in for Joey who is now in NYC. He got the all of the movements and took direction wonderfully. Not only was he efficient but he got the sort of fearful awkwardness that Joey brought to the role. I was concerned a stand-in would miss that part of it and see it just as move here, move there, but Brendan took it seriously and wanted to get the inner life of the role. It shows.
I have to thank Heath as well. He came out there for half a day just to do one shot. He also helped schlepping the gear and gave Greg a hand with the camera.
The biggest thanks of all go to Greg. He brought out his Arri 235 and an Optimo for the shoot. We were going to use a set of primes that was available to us, but the longest lens was an 85. I really wanted something longer but I couldn't really spend the dough. Greg surprised me with the Optimo this morning. Which was great as we used the longer end of the zoom for many of our shots. I think our shortest focal length was 100. When we talked about rehoots initially there was just one shot that really stood out as needing to be replaced. So Greg said just get a 200' short end. I added some shots to optimize our day of reshoots and didn't really buy enough film. Once again Greg came through with two additional short ends. We used only the second, but it saved the day. I could have sweated out everything on the 320' short end I bought, but it was much better to have a little breathing room to make sure I got what we needed.
I got in my truck this morning at 5:45 and checked my email as the engine warmed up. First up: a message from one of my students backing out of class this month but wanting a refund. I want to be fair. I'm certainly not looking to rip anybody off, but I'm feeling ripped off. It's the kind of shit that gets under my skin and a big reason why teaching is a big pain in the ass sometimes. I've been preoccupied with it all day. Aside from when we were shooting, thankfully. This month I had eleven people tell me they wanted to take class. As of now, four of them will be in class on Tuesday. This unpredictable inability to commit on the part of actor-students really turns me off. It saps my energy for the craft. I think the solution is to set the policy and stick to it, letting go of the coddling and emotional investment. Enrollment may go down in the short run, but may preserve the joys of the teaching experience in the long run. I'm going to give this student a credit as she's new and hasn't been signed a contract detailing the terms of enrollment. Everybody will be given those this week and the co-dependence will come to a gentle end.
Lastly my in-laws have been here for the past week from Scotland. We've spent a day at the coast and and an evening at Timberline Lodge. Oregon is a breathtakingly beautiful place. I'm happy to share it with them and growing more proud of my native connection to this earthly paradise.

I'm not blogging much anymore. I miss posting things like seeing Dreyer's Ordet last week. But my life is better for spending less time on the interweb.

Ciao,
Signore Direttore

Silent Film Frenzy

I've watched four silent films this week - Chaplin's City Lights and Modern Times, Lubitsch's Marriage Circle and Murnau's Sunrise. It takes a certain frame of mind to get into them, but once adjusted the rewards abound. It's funny how the parodies of Chaplin capture his gestures only generally. You see so many imitations of Chaplin that it's easy to forget how great he was. His work is much more nuanced and truly is masterful.
When I've done a lot of takes people have jokingly called me Kubrick. Kubrick's got nothing on Chaplin who would routinely take a hundred times and once did over 300 for one of the shots in the Tramp meets the Flower Girl sequence in Modern Times.

¡Silencio!
Signore Direttore

The Master Says 307

A work of art is a confession.

Albert Camus

April F*^cking Twenty-Second ! ? !

Sheesh! The time is a flying. Perhaps I need to slow down. Though I often tell myself I need to do more. Which is it? Does packing it in make life seem more full or make it rush past? Not really sure.
So we're going along with all the stuff that we ask of life. And it's all going well. Underneath the exhaustion and feelings of being overwhelmed there's a satisfaction and a joy that life is rewarding. It takes a lot of diligent work and patience, but it is possible. Which I haven't always had an easy time seeing. I tend to panic if things don't happen right away. Or I procrastinate until conditions are ideal to proceed. I'm finding the middle way between those two extremes. I need to take that approach as a director and as a father. It helps in other areas as well like dealing with the contractors that are working on my building. Wow, what an exercise in being forthright and kind.
It also helps with actor-students. Overall I'm happy with the progress I've seen and the experience of working with the ten or so folks that have been through the studio these past few months. I've also had my disappointments lately. There seems to be a bit more giddy chatting going on in the studio than necessary. I tried to gently call attention to that again last week, we'll see if it make a difference. Also, my efforts to reach out to specific actors and build a relationship and develop scripts for them have been frustrating. I pitched a feature idea to one actor who called it a short when passing on it. Great listening? Were I an actor looking to do challenging and interesting work and a director that I respected took an interest in developing projects with me and building a relationship with me, I would be all over them. What I've seen too much of around here is actors being overbooked, confused and more concerned with their social lives and day jobs than digging in and getting dirty. Which is why film is not an actor's medium ultimately. Altman said it was, but they turned themselves over to his vision. So who's medium was it in the end? I really think I was on to something in Made Crooked by not letting actors prepare or get scared of playing things close to their bones.
When actors get flaky or confused I lose interest. If I really like them and respect their talents I try to be understanding. But there's a line for sure.
I was reading Fassbinder's editor's account of how he was always miles ahead of the actors, how he knew all of their lines and how he saw the nuances of their parts. And also how well he cast his films, having the ability to see the actors' true hearts and their deepest motives and needs. She told of his scathing response of actors complaining about why a certain take was used. He said technical problems happen, but it's your job to deliver your performance every take. I relate and probably shouldn't say so publicly. No wonder the poor bastard was so desperately lonely.
A lot of actors think they've got it together, but so many of them are so desperate and confused and vested in covering their insecurities that they can't reveal themselves in their work. Unless you trick them into it.

Feeling like The Prince,
Signore Direttore

The Master Says 306

Thank God I'm an atheist.

Luis Bunuel

Freedom From Bondage

It's official - we are not going to get internet at our new house. We got iPhones instead so we can stay current via email and check the internet for essential information. I don't have an internet connection at my office either. I find it liberating. When I do sit down with a connection as I am right now, I find that all the virtual places I used to visit bore me when I'm in the flow of my life. It's only when I'm seeking to check out that hours spent trolling seem compelling.
I don't expect to blog as much, it's already fallen off quite a bit. I like certain things like the week in review that I started this year to track my movie watching. I'm not sure how I'll do that. There's a great program called Journler that I've using for over a year now. Perhaps I can do some entries there and cut and paste. I'm still amassing interesting quotes from filmmakers which I archive in Journler, so I'll try to continue to post those as well.

I saw Paranoid Park again the other night. If I was looking for a conventional narrative and, or to be entertained, I would be disappointed. I can see why it didn't do so well. Thing is I want to make films very similar to GSV's. So for me seeing the film multiple times reveals more of what Gus is exploring.

I met with my favorite leading lady yesterday to discuss shooting a challenging long-from experimental film. She seemed less than eager, but I quickly realized that her apprehension is a good thing. I don't want to do projects that are slam dunks; what would be the point in that? As an exercise in pointing the camera and other production techniques, slam dunks are great. As an opportunity to explore retaining the heart and pathos that's behind all of my favorite ideas throughout the filmmaking process, the short and sweet needs to give way to patient and dirty.

Freedom!
Signore Direttore

Or Not

Last year when finishing Dangerous Writing I complained to a friend of having to come back down to earth. She proclaimed the virtues of doing remodeling projects and working for money. I don't entirely disagree with her. However, I think my comments yesterday about getting going on another film need to be amended. And I think the source of getting ahead of myself had a lot to do with wanting to get into something new as an escape from the mundane that my friend finds more solace in than I apparently do.
Upon further consideration I determined that the idea that's working on me right now deserves more from me than a splintered dedication. Principally that I would want to retain the emotional link to the story and in order to do that I can not get caught up in producing the thing. But it's obvious to me that even if I find a competent producer, I will have to do quite a bit of producing myself before I could return to the heart of my story, which may be too late. Then of course with a producer on board, its realization would require substantially more budgetary resources than I can possibly muster any time soon. I will continue to let it form as I do the work of finishing films and remodeling our building. If it takes a shape that still begs to be produced, it will get what it deserves at some point in the future. The possibility of a very experimental truncated version remains viable.
One thing that does come out of all the leg and back work of my life is that I am becoming much more discerning about the projects to which I am willing to commit.

Blogged from my iPhone

Living Large,
Signore Direttore