Trudging Ever Forward

I had a spotting session for the sound design of But A Dream at Digital One this morning. It was one more experience that I went into uneasy and came out calm and confident. I directed the film two and a half years ago. I've since made two features and over two dozen shorts. I'm a far more experienced filmmaker at this point. I've also lost all perspective on the film. As I sat through it one more time this morning I wondered if the tension I was feeling was a result of the story or nerves from sitting in a room with three strangers. I've also noticed that people are very quiet after seeing it. So there's that pregnant pause that makes me think people are trying to think of something nice to say that will cover how much they hated it and resent my asking for ten minutes of their time.
I've gotten better about sitting and waiting for responses to my work. Even when people don't like something I seem to survive. The Digital One guys liked it. The sound designer, Chip Sloan, had some very welcome ideas for it. He really got it in a way that the other sound editors I've been trying to work with for the past six months did not. I guess those relationships didn't work out for a reason. There was one guy that had done some stuff on a few of GSV's films that I wanted to work with for the very wrong reason of having some names in my credits with impressive bona fides. Though there are several others that worked on BAD like Neil Kopp, TG Firestone and Greg Schmitt that have kept very good working company.
Moving on from my egotistical concerns ...
I was anxious about the meeting this morning. It started last night. I've been working on my Withoutabox application form. I'm hoping the film will have its World Premiere at Sundance. I've been doing this for awhile and this is the first film that I've finished that I think merits submission to premiere festivals. I'm looking forward to finding out how it fares, all the while coming up with judgments of it that confirm its failure. It's just a way to try to control the outcome. I want to feel safe and my brain is telling me it's safer to fail.
That's what the film is about - taking that next step even though it might be your last.
Robert Evans says you need to learn from your successes. I'm going to call but A Dream a success right here and now before I even send it off to Sundance. Goodness knows I've learned a lot from making it and seeing it through to meet the world on its own merits. It feels nice to learn from my success.

Bravo,
Signore Direttore