Friday, September 25, 2009

Audition for New GVS Film

I got a call from a casting director this week to audition for the new Gus Van Sant film, Restless. I really have no interest in acting anymore. However, I'm willing to make an exception for an opportunity to work with one of the few masters in the industry at the moment.
I didn't really connect to the part at all once I got the sides. It's a big scene for the main character and my guy gets quite an earful. I didn't find anywhere to go either in my preparation or in the room. I showed up and read the lines and tried to take the directions the casting director offered.
I tried to be grateful for the opportunity and to do my best. I was successful at that part. I was up against a lot of the better stage actors in Portland. I'd like to get the part, there's no doubt about that. But I'd also be very happy to see some talented actor like Todd Van Voris or Michael Mendelsohn get a nice part on the big screen.
I was really glad when the audition was over and I could go back to being a non-actor. I like my new life.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I really don't care anymore

Honestly. Truly. I just don't have any interest in artistic process. I don't want to hear actors, directors, writers or producers talk about their work. If it's good I want to see it and be entertained by it. I'm no longer looking for inspiration or to watch someone be good at their craft. I just want to dive in and suspend my disbelief. And if I can't do that, nevermind. Today I had the afternoon to myself for the first time in a while. In the past I would have been at the movies. I checked to see what was playing. Nothing of interest. I want to go and be all in. If I have any suspicion that I might be distracted by artificiality of any sort, forget it.
I saw Inglorious Basterds a few weeks ago. Remind me not to waste my time or money on that dude's films again. Ugh. What a bunch of tedious and gratuitous garbage.
There's a fifth rate television show being filmed in the city where I live. Almost every actor I know has gotten a part on it. They're so thrilled for themselves. I find it really hard to share their enthusiasm. It all strikes me as extremely solipsistic. Who cares? What about that has anything to do with making the world a better place? I'm not talking about saving the world with grand gestures, but more simply the mindfulness to appreciate there's a hell of a lot more going on in the world than one's acting "career". What a joke. The same goes for producers and directors running around talking about their films that no more than a few hundred people will ever see and far fewer will ever like as if they're on par with Spielberg and Scorcese.
Maybe I sound bitter to some. If I'm over it, I'm over it; right? I mean, what's the need to take others down if you're so okay with things? Maybe the answer to that is I've never been okay with this crap, even when I've been guilty of it myself, and I'm very happy to deal with it less and less.