Wednesday, September 16, 2009

I really don't care anymore

Honestly. Truly. I just don't have any interest in artistic process. I don't want to hear actors, directors, writers or producers talk about their work. If it's good I want to see it and be entertained by it. I'm no longer looking for inspiration or to watch someone be good at their craft. I just want to dive in and suspend my disbelief. And if I can't do that, nevermind. Today I had the afternoon to myself for the first time in a while. In the past I would have been at the movies. I checked to see what was playing. Nothing of interest. I want to go and be all in. If I have any suspicion that I might be distracted by artificiality of any sort, forget it.
I saw Inglorious Basterds a few weeks ago. Remind me not to waste my time or money on that dude's films again. Ugh. What a bunch of tedious and gratuitous garbage.
There's a fifth rate television show being filmed in the city where I live. Almost every actor I know has gotten a part on it. They're so thrilled for themselves. I find it really hard to share their enthusiasm. It all strikes me as extremely solipsistic. Who cares? What about that has anything to do with making the world a better place? I'm not talking about saving the world with grand gestures, but more simply the mindfulness to appreciate there's a hell of a lot more going on in the world than one's acting "career". What a joke. The same goes for producers and directors running around talking about their films that no more than a few hundred people will ever see and far fewer will ever like as if they're on par with Spielberg and Scorcese.
Maybe I sound bitter to some. If I'm over it, I'm over it; right? I mean, what's the need to take others down if you're so okay with things? Maybe the answer to that is I've never been okay with this crap, even when I've been guilty of it myself, and I'm very happy to deal with it less and less.

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