Sunday, March 09, 2008

Deadly Bedfellows: Pride and Fear

Lately I've felt the joy of success regarding the woodshedding projects. It feels great to finish things. I've received compliments ranging from polite to superlative. I've even sensed a bit of envy. I've parleyed the momentum into more work, a return to teaching and reaching out to a slew of new actors. Which gives me pause. In an appropriately modest manner as well as a literal stopping of making any further woodshed projects. It seems I've become somewhat egotistical, which makes me first proud, then arrogant, followed by precious, which quickly morphs into fear and its inherent immobility.
I've been workshopping and rewriting a script called Controller with a writer that I met based on the woodshedding momentum. It's ten pages long and is begging to be produced with care and attention to art direction and lighting over the course of a couple of days.
Fearing falling into this trap, I wrote another new short script Friday night. I really like it as well. It's much simpler and can be shot in a half day. Or longer if I start to like it ...
Which brings me back to getting precious. I started this woodshedding thing with the idea that failure was an option. This teacup is already broken type of attitude. But after three hits, it's like I can't fail now. Even though I don't think any of the stuff is brilliant, it's gotten enough praise as to not want to do anything worse. There are two more woodshedding pieces. Neither have been cut yet, and both were more like exercises because the other actor for both had something come up at the last minute. Woodshedding momentum was broken by a couple of things besides pride - going to New York, starting class and shooting a scene here in town for Made Crooked. The resolution was to work with actors on-camera weekly. Which I've done. The woodshedding thing was a, not the, framework for meeting that goal. So if there's any egoism, and surely there's some, the cure may be to fail really hard.
I'm going up to Central Washington for a couple of days next week. I'll be with a non-filmmaking friend that has some property up there that basically wants some company for the drive. Other than that I'll be mostly on my own. I'm planning on bringing my camera and shooting some sort of short. Which sounds like a perfect opportunity to make something not so great since I'll be a cast and crew of one unless I recruit some of the locals, which I don't plan on doing. I'm trying not to think of that one. I'm looking forward to the experience of surprising myself.
For the other stuff I start thinking about Fisher dollies and HMIs. I think of Greg, who is busy as a camera operator on Twilight, a studio picture shooting in town. Which is all great. It's coming up on a year since I've done something on a bigger scale. At least I should have the two shorts Greg shot for me finished by the time he wraps the movie. I want to take at least three films off the board above the red line before I get into another production. I'm not in a hurry. Working on the script for Controller is making it better and better. There's always a fear for me that the magic will wear off if I don't jump in. I do think it's all too easy to lose sight of the story when engaged in pre-production. But woodshedding is helping with practicing the storytelling, ultimately the most important part of it all.
I went on a scout yesterday for the second script I mentioned, Piles Of Gold. I had Forest Park in mind when I wrote it, but it might be too crowded. So I went to an interesting and accessible section of Johnson Creek. Then I started thinking about casting too much. I really like working with Eric S. a lot, but I need more males 25-35. I met with one the other day, Sean McG. I think he's going places and I'm flattered that he wants to work together. I sent him Piles of Gold, but I think I want to ask this other guy that I've seen around in some local indie stuff. His name is Eric R. He did childcare at Andrew and Susan's wedding, so I've met him. I really liked him and he's right for the part. I'm going to wait until Sean gets back to me before I go stalking another unwitting actor on the internet.
The fall out of all this thinking reminded me that woodshedding is about keeping it simple and using the ensemble. So I wrote another short last night, tentatively called Debaser, that definitely falls into the not so precious category. It's for two new members of the ensemble, so it's going to be great to get them baptized.
What strikes me most as I read back over this post is how much I've been working so far this year. We're only ten weeks in and I've been kicking ass. All the woodshedding, teaching, meeting new actors aside - we've also been closing in finishing some films in the edit stage. And I'm going into a recording studio in a week to sing a song for Made Crooked that I wrote. What the f**k have I gotten myself into?
On top of it all, things must be balancing out a bit, because I noticed my movie total for the week was back up. And I read two books.

¡viva!
Signore Direttore

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