Nothing is more odious than music without hidden meaning.
Chopin
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Bright Shiny Morning
Just read James Frey's new book on the flight home. Los Angeles is a magical place. It's cloudy today in Portland but the morning has been bright for me due to the time away. There's much down there that's objectionable, yet I always come away inspired in profound ways.
To work. To work. To work.
Grazie Los Angeles,
Signore Direttore
To work. To work. To work.
Grazie Los Angeles,
Signore Direttore
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Good Company
I've spent most of the past two days in my hotel room. I know what that might signify to one of my readers in particular, but I assure you this isolation has been very productive and social. First off, my hotel room is on the beach in Santa Monica and has a wonderful vista North up the beach to where it meets Pacific Palisades. Secondly, I've had some wonderful guests. I spent a lot of money on a nice hotel room and passed on renting a car while here. (The first night I was here, I stayed with a friend in the legendary El Royale Apartments.) Being in LA without a car works for me. There's not a central plan to Los Angeles, its proprietors and residents rely on people getting in their cars and driving everywhere. When I was younger I enjoyed racing around the city, but when I come here now I like to plant myself somewhere and keep a small footprint. The people that I want to see don't seem to mind coming to me and then they take me where they like to go. Los Angeles is full of hidden treasures that are impossible to stumble upon while driving on its major arterials. More than almost any city you have to go native. Which is impossible driving around by yourself in a rental car.
I brought my camera package along on this trip. No particular plan in mind. Maybe some roadside shooting on the drive down. I should clarify the drive down - my friend drove his car and I paid for gas and manned the ipod. I actually drove for only about three of the fifteen hour drive. (As soon as my kids are old enough to drive, I'm never getting behind the wheel again!) Anyway a possibility arose to shoot something with an actor friend and his wife. Sort of last minute. He's not super inclined toward improvisation so I wanted to come up with a script. My archives contained nothing that seemed appropriate. I made some notes but with the trip soon upon me I found no time to get something down on paper. I woke up early Thursday under the soaring ornate ceiling of my bedroom at the El Royale and being somewhat influenced by the previous night's Mamet experience, I was able to knock out a fourteen page screenplay in about an hour and a half.
Upon arriving at The Huntley Santa Monica that afternoon I was feeling very good about shooting this short film while here. There was never a firm commitment on the part of the actors I wrote it for, so the thought was growing in my mind that if they couldn't make it I would do it. An hour later he let me know that it wasn't going to work with their schedule this weekend. I would have liked to work with him again and with his wife for the first time, but I wasn't disappointed. I sent some emails to some actresses I know down here. Since I hadn't spoken to many of them for quite some time and with little time to spare I posted on Craigslist for the role as well.
The first person that responded was love at first sight - pretty in a simple and down to earth way. I wrote her a very candid message telling her of the Spartan way in which I often work. Which was going to be the leanest yet of all my films - cameraman and director-actor. We also shot it in a hotel room, which is one of those no-no red flag things for actors. I didn't hear back from her that night. All the other submissions were the typical shiny, breast-enhanced LA actress-model types. One of whom is somewhat famous. I tried to stress how tiny our production was going to be in a correspondence with her personal assistant, but I could tell that until I spelled it out for her that tiny meant like a crew of fifteen. Somewhat Famous couldn't meet me until Saturday morning, the day of her scene so I passed. I woke up Friday feeling a little like maybe it wasn't meant to be. I questioned how willful I wanted to get. i didn't have to wonder long before I heard from Naomi, the first one to respond. We met for coffee and decided to work together. It rained here on Friday, really just a few drizzles, but everyone was running around with umbrellas. The coffee shop where we met had put away all its outside tables so our meeting took place in a doorway in the rain. It was less than ideal, but being with her felt instantly comfortable and any awkwardness of venue went entirely unnoticed.
Brian was able to come up with a 35mm adapter for our shoot. It proved to be essential as shooting a ten plus minute film in one small room without shallow focus would have had grave limitations. When showing some of the footage last night to a friend that knows my work well, he said it's the prettiest film I've ever made. I've always been a it skeptical about those lens adapters. Until now. Working with the discipline of the fixed focal length and shallow depth of field of prime lenses was a welcome adjustment and challenge. I've done a fair share of working with cine lenses on my projects shot on film, but I've always had a few weeks to prepare and plan the shots. For this short, I had to write, cast, prepare to direct and play the lead role in less than twenty four hours. And I didn't have a chance to print the script out so I had to read and memorize my lines from the computer. Good thing I love a challenge.
I really enjoyed making the film. I like acting. I like working with Brian. We started shooting Friday afternoon, stopped shooting and went to sleep at 1am, woke up at 7:30 and got our first shot off by 8. Took a breakfast break from 10 to noon and wrapped at 7. During all of this there was but a moment of tension. We were shooting a scene wherein I was coming back to the room from a swim and dropped my swimming trunks to the floor before sitting at the desk to make a phone call. I was dripping wet in one of the hotel robes, becoming naked under the robe every few minutes. Not a big deal except that the actress whose trust I earned to come shoot in a hotel room with total strangers was due to arrive any minute. I really didn't want to greet her soaking wet and naked in a robe. Brian calmly stated in the most generous of tones that he didn't feel we were communicated very well. To which I admitted my mounting stress of the aforementioned circumstances. He understood. I reined in my stress and its attendant bitter tone and all was simpatico once more.
I was able to get some clothes on just as Naomi arrived. Our scene went great and as I walked her down to the lobby I was sad our new friendship seemed to be over so soon.
When we wrapped a little while later, I commented to Brian that it was somewhat odd that we would come to LA and work on a film in the way that we did. I said one of the main benefits was the elimination of distractions. He sagely remarked on the irony of that.
For my last evening in Los Angeles I was invited to a dinner party at the home of an old friend. I worked closely with Alexa for a little over a year in New York. First as her acting classmate and sometimes scene partner and then as her acting coach. I also cast her in a film and the strangest play I ever directed. I heard so much about her family that I was surprised there was but mom, dad and a sister. However it didn't take long to understand why her family loomed large in my imagination. They are perhaps the warmest, most interesting and talented families I've ever met. Their home was full of art curators, actors, a French director, writers, a prominent political activist, a film editor and a couple of eager dogs for the dinner party. Jordan was my date. We were made to feel instantly welcome. There's no joy like having a truly interesting person take an interest in you. It brings me to tears.
I'll tell you how good the company was - and if you know what a goddamn yakker I can be, this will say a lot - I sat for the first three hours of the party listening. I can't remember the last time that happened without feeling left out.
Later in the evening I was having a chat with Alexa's brother-in-law. We spoke of Portland and he told me an interesting story about a large scale environmental installation art project in Arizona. After openly and actively listening to his stories, I was able to answer his questions about my work with an easy articulation of my deepest values as a filmmaker. I wasn't trying to impress him in the least. I became almost self-conscious about my candor. Then he said, I also curate a film festival and your work sounds like the kind of stuff I love. I knew there were other film people out there that were interested, I just don't meet them very often. It seems that most independent filmmakers I know personally are trying to emulate Hollywood and break in or they make films about seaweed and kitchen appliances on Super8 which they develop and process in their bathroom.
Who would have thought that I would come to Los Angeles to work in privacy and socialize with people that inspire me to be myself? It's almost as surprising as the amazing week I once spent in Cleveland.
Gratefully Yours,
Signore Direttore
I brought my camera package along on this trip. No particular plan in mind. Maybe some roadside shooting on the drive down. I should clarify the drive down - my friend drove his car and I paid for gas and manned the ipod. I actually drove for only about three of the fifteen hour drive. (As soon as my kids are old enough to drive, I'm never getting behind the wheel again!) Anyway a possibility arose to shoot something with an actor friend and his wife. Sort of last minute. He's not super inclined toward improvisation so I wanted to come up with a script. My archives contained nothing that seemed appropriate. I made some notes but with the trip soon upon me I found no time to get something down on paper. I woke up early Thursday under the soaring ornate ceiling of my bedroom at the El Royale and being somewhat influenced by the previous night's Mamet experience, I was able to knock out a fourteen page screenplay in about an hour and a half.
Upon arriving at The Huntley Santa Monica that afternoon I was feeling very good about shooting this short film while here. There was never a firm commitment on the part of the actors I wrote it for, so the thought was growing in my mind that if they couldn't make it I would do it. An hour later he let me know that it wasn't going to work with their schedule this weekend. I would have liked to work with him again and with his wife for the first time, but I wasn't disappointed. I sent some emails to some actresses I know down here. Since I hadn't spoken to many of them for quite some time and with little time to spare I posted on Craigslist for the role as well.
The first person that responded was love at first sight - pretty in a simple and down to earth way. I wrote her a very candid message telling her of the Spartan way in which I often work. Which was going to be the leanest yet of all my films - cameraman and director-actor. We also shot it in a hotel room, which is one of those no-no red flag things for actors. I didn't hear back from her that night. All the other submissions were the typical shiny, breast-enhanced LA actress-model types. One of whom is somewhat famous. I tried to stress how tiny our production was going to be in a correspondence with her personal assistant, but I could tell that until I spelled it out for her that tiny meant like a crew of fifteen. Somewhat Famous couldn't meet me until Saturday morning, the day of her scene so I passed. I woke up Friday feeling a little like maybe it wasn't meant to be. I questioned how willful I wanted to get. i didn't have to wonder long before I heard from Naomi, the first one to respond. We met for coffee and decided to work together. It rained here on Friday, really just a few drizzles, but everyone was running around with umbrellas. The coffee shop where we met had put away all its outside tables so our meeting took place in a doorway in the rain. It was less than ideal, but being with her felt instantly comfortable and any awkwardness of venue went entirely unnoticed.
Brian was able to come up with a 35mm adapter for our shoot. It proved to be essential as shooting a ten plus minute film in one small room without shallow focus would have had grave limitations. When showing some of the footage last night to a friend that knows my work well, he said it's the prettiest film I've ever made. I've always been a it skeptical about those lens adapters. Until now. Working with the discipline of the fixed focal length and shallow depth of field of prime lenses was a welcome adjustment and challenge. I've done a fair share of working with cine lenses on my projects shot on film, but I've always had a few weeks to prepare and plan the shots. For this short, I had to write, cast, prepare to direct and play the lead role in less than twenty four hours. And I didn't have a chance to print the script out so I had to read and memorize my lines from the computer. Good thing I love a challenge.
I really enjoyed making the film. I like acting. I like working with Brian. We started shooting Friday afternoon, stopped shooting and went to sleep at 1am, woke up at 7:30 and got our first shot off by 8. Took a breakfast break from 10 to noon and wrapped at 7. During all of this there was but a moment of tension. We were shooting a scene wherein I was coming back to the room from a swim and dropped my swimming trunks to the floor before sitting at the desk to make a phone call. I was dripping wet in one of the hotel robes, becoming naked under the robe every few minutes. Not a big deal except that the actress whose trust I earned to come shoot in a hotel room with total strangers was due to arrive any minute. I really didn't want to greet her soaking wet and naked in a robe. Brian calmly stated in the most generous of tones that he didn't feel we were communicated very well. To which I admitted my mounting stress of the aforementioned circumstances. He understood. I reined in my stress and its attendant bitter tone and all was simpatico once more.
I was able to get some clothes on just as Naomi arrived. Our scene went great and as I walked her down to the lobby I was sad our new friendship seemed to be over so soon.
When we wrapped a little while later, I commented to Brian that it was somewhat odd that we would come to LA and work on a film in the way that we did. I said one of the main benefits was the elimination of distractions. He sagely remarked on the irony of that.
For my last evening in Los Angeles I was invited to a dinner party at the home of an old friend. I worked closely with Alexa for a little over a year in New York. First as her acting classmate and sometimes scene partner and then as her acting coach. I also cast her in a film and the strangest play I ever directed. I heard so much about her family that I was surprised there was but mom, dad and a sister. However it didn't take long to understand why her family loomed large in my imagination. They are perhaps the warmest, most interesting and talented families I've ever met. Their home was full of art curators, actors, a French director, writers, a prominent political activist, a film editor and a couple of eager dogs for the dinner party. Jordan was my date. We were made to feel instantly welcome. There's no joy like having a truly interesting person take an interest in you. It brings me to tears.
I'll tell you how good the company was - and if you know what a goddamn yakker I can be, this will say a lot - I sat for the first three hours of the party listening. I can't remember the last time that happened without feeling left out.
Later in the evening I was having a chat with Alexa's brother-in-law. We spoke of Portland and he told me an interesting story about a large scale environmental installation art project in Arizona. After openly and actively listening to his stories, I was able to answer his questions about my work with an easy articulation of my deepest values as a filmmaker. I wasn't trying to impress him in the least. I became almost self-conscious about my candor. Then he said, I also curate a film festival and your work sounds like the kind of stuff I love. I knew there were other film people out there that were interested, I just don't meet them very often. It seems that most independent filmmakers I know personally are trying to emulate Hollywood and break in or they make films about seaweed and kitchen appliances on Super8 which they develop and process in their bathroom.
Who would have thought that I would come to Los Angeles to work in privacy and socialize with people that inspire me to be myself? It's almost as surprising as the amazing week I once spent in Cleveland.
Gratefully Yours,
Signore Direttore
Saturday, May 24, 2008
SLUT - Set Photos
Jeremy (Brendan Robinson) has to go to the movies with his mom (Christy Drogosch). Things go from bad to worse when she wants to talk to him about sex.
Now that Jordan is out of the way, we can finally take some time to light things properly.
Tab Rocks! Misty cigarettes rock! Mom jeans rock! CHRISTY ROCKS!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Vaporized Disappointment
Los Angeles
City of Angels
That's not smog
It's vaporized dissapointment
- Miss Lola Belle
Here I am once more. Los Angeles. It's hard to come down here and not feel vulnerable. Some of the people that I'm fortunate enough to know and spend time with while I'm here are accomplished. Their careers are in play. Of course they want more success and more rewards, but they have crossed thresholds that I have not.
Much of what I know in theory about the craft and the business of making films, they practice. What I hold as ideals they sometimes reject as impractical, unlikely or simply naive.
My path is not the same as theirs and I don't know if our paths will ever cross. More so than ever I see that my ideas are my own and while they may be challenged by those that live and work within the industry they remain valid. I don't want to be a part of this at the expense of my own vision. There are people here with much skill and knowledge to be sure. I admire and envy their talent and experience. I'm even inspired by it. However, it is very apparent that what I want to do and what these people are doing are very different beasts. Cross-breeding is possible, but one must tread cautiously. Thinking of myself as a digital folk artist feels more and more appropriate.
Independently Yours,
Signore Direttore
City of Angels
That's not smog
It's vaporized dissapointment
- Miss Lola Belle
Here I am once more. Los Angeles. It's hard to come down here and not feel vulnerable. Some of the people that I'm fortunate enough to know and spend time with while I'm here are accomplished. Their careers are in play. Of course they want more success and more rewards, but they have crossed thresholds that I have not.
Much of what I know in theory about the craft and the business of making films, they practice. What I hold as ideals they sometimes reject as impractical, unlikely or simply naive.
My path is not the same as theirs and I don't know if our paths will ever cross. More so than ever I see that my ideas are my own and while they may be challenged by those that live and work within the industry they remain valid. I don't want to be a part of this at the expense of my own vision. There are people here with much skill and knowledge to be sure. I admire and envy their talent and experience. I'm even inspired by it. However, it is very apparent that what I want to do and what these people are doing are very different beasts. Cross-breeding is possible, but one must tread cautiously. Thinking of myself as a digital folk artist feels more and more appropriate.
Independently Yours,
Signore Direttore
Friday, May 16, 2008
The Master Says 309
I don't say that we ought to all misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could.
Orson Welles
Orson Welles
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Glimpses of the Good Inside
In 1998, about a month after my mother died, one of my roommates from my junior year abroad at a Mexican university came to New York City for a visit. A couple of years later I apologized to Mauricio for not being more attentive to him during his visit. He rejected my apology completely. He reminded me of some of the things I had done for him during the visit, saying they were some of the best memories of his life.
Looking back, his visit was very full of excitement and I was quite generous toward him. I suppose the source of my remorse came from my disconnected spirit. My life was very full and successful on the outside. On the inside I was miserable, very full of grief from my mother's recent suicide. My grieving loneliness was accentuated by a string of failed relationships with women and an overall feeling that I was incapable of enjoying an authentic relationship with another human being. The buoyant enthusiasm of my days in Mexico were a thing of the distant past.
Others often see the good in us, thankfully. Especially when we are most blind to it. With some years behind me I too can see the good that was in me even when I wasn't at my best. This came to mind this morning while thinking about an upcoming road trip to Los Angeles. I was contemplating some places to stop and shoot some footage - texture or some storytelling, not sure yet. The Olive Tree came to mind, which is in the desolate valley alongside I-5. One mid-Summer long ago my girlfriend and I were driving to Portland from LA. It was hot. I mean hot. No relief. My little convertible didn't have AC. Putting the top down just made it hot and windy. We tried hosing ourselves down with the water at a gas station but the water was scalding. Finally we jumped into a motel swimming pool without checking in as guests. After awhile we huddled together in a corner of the pool and had sex. I don't know if it was the heat or what, but I totally lost all inhibition. We climbed out of the pool and made our way across the parking lot, feeling both sheepish and satisfied. As I was looking back to see if anyone had seen us this guy on a big Harley appeared out of nowhere. I think he had been there all along. He smiled at us and said hello. He was really nice looking. He seemed really calm. Kind of freaked me out. We said hey and kept walking toward the Tastee Treat. My girlfriend said that's Johnny Depp. Who's that? He's on 21 Jump Street. We got to the Tastee Treat and ate lunch. She said, we should have invited him to come eat with us. Yeah, maybe.
Then around the time Mauricio was in NYC, Johnny Depp was hanging around Lansky Lounge, the club where I promoted parties. He was pals with this infamous tattoo artist called Jonathan Shaw, son of the band leader Artie Shaw. I hired Mauricio to do our mailing list at the party that night. After the club closed Johnny Depp, JS, Chris Antista, one of the owners of the club, and some girls were sitting in a booth having drinks. A bunch of us were going on a late-night/early morning trip to Atlantic City in my 1950 Cadillac. Mauricio passed for some reason. So did Johnny Depp. Before we left, I wanted to ask Johnny if he remembered that afternoon in California, but it didn't seem appropriate somehow. Instead I used my five minutes with him to introduce him to Mauricio. The gesture and Johnny's simple but warm conversation blew Mauricio away.
I guess I'm not such an awful friend after all.
Looking back, his visit was very full of excitement and I was quite generous toward him. I suppose the source of my remorse came from my disconnected spirit. My life was very full and successful on the outside. On the inside I was miserable, very full of grief from my mother's recent suicide. My grieving loneliness was accentuated by a string of failed relationships with women and an overall feeling that I was incapable of enjoying an authentic relationship with another human being. The buoyant enthusiasm of my days in Mexico were a thing of the distant past.
Others often see the good in us, thankfully. Especially when we are most blind to it. With some years behind me I too can see the good that was in me even when I wasn't at my best. This came to mind this morning while thinking about an upcoming road trip to Los Angeles. I was contemplating some places to stop and shoot some footage - texture or some storytelling, not sure yet. The Olive Tree came to mind, which is in the desolate valley alongside I-5. One mid-Summer long ago my girlfriend and I were driving to Portland from LA. It was hot. I mean hot. No relief. My little convertible didn't have AC. Putting the top down just made it hot and windy. We tried hosing ourselves down with the water at a gas station but the water was scalding. Finally we jumped into a motel swimming pool without checking in as guests. After awhile we huddled together in a corner of the pool and had sex. I don't know if it was the heat or what, but I totally lost all inhibition. We climbed out of the pool and made our way across the parking lot, feeling both sheepish and satisfied. As I was looking back to see if anyone had seen us this guy on a big Harley appeared out of nowhere. I think he had been there all along. He smiled at us and said hello. He was really nice looking. He seemed really calm. Kind of freaked me out. We said hey and kept walking toward the Tastee Treat. My girlfriend said that's Johnny Depp. Who's that? He's on 21 Jump Street. We got to the Tastee Treat and ate lunch. She said, we should have invited him to come eat with us. Yeah, maybe.
Then around the time Mauricio was in NYC, Johnny Depp was hanging around Lansky Lounge, the club where I promoted parties. He was pals with this infamous tattoo artist called Jonathan Shaw, son of the band leader Artie Shaw. I hired Mauricio to do our mailing list at the party that night. After the club closed Johnny Depp, JS, Chris Antista, one of the owners of the club, and some girls were sitting in a booth having drinks. A bunch of us were going on a late-night/early morning trip to Atlantic City in my 1950 Cadillac. Mauricio passed for some reason. So did Johnny Depp. Before we left, I wanted to ask Johnny if he remembered that afternoon in California, but it didn't seem appropriate somehow. Instead I used my five minutes with him to introduce him to Mauricio. The gesture and Johnny's simple but warm conversation blew Mauricio away.
I guess I'm not such an awful friend after all.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
The Master Says 308
Once they're in that starting position and ready to go, it's really a case of nurturing, and trusting, and letting them have a good time. I don't even mean, by having a good time, laughing on the set - although we have a lot of that at times. But what I mean is being allowed to make mistakes, being allowed to try things. The key is that you all agree that you're making the same film.
Martin Scorcese
Martin Scorcese
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Screening Party Revelation
I screened five of my short films for my in-laws the other night after a wonderful dinner at Wildwood. I noticed that there's a common element in my films of a type of visual gag where things end up being much different than anticipated. A clever little twist. Having seen it in four of five films, I felt, I don't how I felt exactly. Like , Oh I didn't realize I was doing that so often. Kind of like an actor's bag of tricks. I guess I wanted to work on that for awhile and now that I have, I want to leave it be for awhile. It's not like some cheap party trick or anything, it's just something I've noticed now that I have a a few finished projects.
¡viva!
Signore Dirretore
¡viva!
Signore Dirretore
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Reshoots, Actor-Students and In-laws
I'm knackered. The kind of tired that's bone deep physically and a fog has rolled in mentally that seems will never lift. Which isn't to say I'm unhappy. We reshot some scenes from But A Dream today. It went really well and was well worth doing. It was all just boots on the ground, but all of our stuff in that category was pretty shite. Usually cutaways to feet would be weird, but in a film about the fear of taking a step forward lest you be blown to smithareens, cutaways to boots are pretty important.
I guess it was meant to be because the weather was absolutely perfect until we were loading the gear and Greg was unloading the mags. It started sprinkling and it was pouring as we drove home from Sauvie Island. We had a soft, even cloud cover for all of our shots. Beautiful. Brendan did a great job standing in for Joey who is now in NYC. He got the all of the movements and took direction wonderfully. Not only was he efficient but he got the sort of fearful awkwardness that Joey brought to the role. I was concerned a stand-in would miss that part of it and see it just as move here, move there, but Brendan took it seriously and wanted to get the inner life of the role. It shows.
I have to thank Heath as well. He came out there for half a day just to do one shot. He also helped schlepping the gear and gave Greg a hand with the camera.
The biggest thanks of all go to Greg. He brought out his Arri 235 and an Optimo for the shoot. We were going to use a set of primes that was available to us, but the longest lens was an 85. I really wanted something longer but I couldn't really spend the dough. Greg surprised me with the Optimo this morning. Which was great as we used the longer end of the zoom for many of our shots. I think our shortest focal length was 100. When we talked about rehoots initially there was just one shot that really stood out as needing to be replaced. So Greg said just get a 200' short end. I added some shots to optimize our day of reshoots and didn't really buy enough film. Once again Greg came through with two additional short ends. We used only the second, but it saved the day. I could have sweated out everything on the 320' short end I bought, but it was much better to have a little breathing room to make sure I got what we needed.
I got in my truck this morning at 5:45 and checked my email as the engine warmed up. First up: a message from one of my students backing out of class this month but wanting a refund. I want to be fair. I'm certainly not looking to rip anybody off, but I'm feeling ripped off. It's the kind of shit that gets under my skin and a big reason why teaching is a big pain in the ass sometimes. I've been preoccupied with it all day. Aside from when we were shooting, thankfully. This month I had eleven people tell me they wanted to take class. As of now, four of them will be in class on Tuesday. This unpredictable inability to commit on the part of actor-students really turns me off. It saps my energy for the craft. I think the solution is to set the policy and stick to it, letting go of the coddling and emotional investment. Enrollment may go down in the short run, but may preserve the joys of the teaching experience in the long run. I'm going to give this student a credit as she's new and hasn't been signed a contract detailing the terms of enrollment. Everybody will be given those this week and the co-dependence will come to a gentle end.
Lastly my in-laws have been here for the past week from Scotland. We've spent a day at the coast and and an evening at Timberline Lodge. Oregon is a breathtakingly beautiful place. I'm happy to share it with them and growing more proud of my native connection to this earthly paradise.
I'm not blogging much anymore. I miss posting things like seeing Dreyer's Ordet last week. But my life is better for spending less time on the interweb.
Ciao,
Signore Direttore
I guess it was meant to be because the weather was absolutely perfect until we were loading the gear and Greg was unloading the mags. It started sprinkling and it was pouring as we drove home from Sauvie Island. We had a soft, even cloud cover for all of our shots. Beautiful. Brendan did a great job standing in for Joey who is now in NYC. He got the all of the movements and took direction wonderfully. Not only was he efficient but he got the sort of fearful awkwardness that Joey brought to the role. I was concerned a stand-in would miss that part of it and see it just as move here, move there, but Brendan took it seriously and wanted to get the inner life of the role. It shows.
I have to thank Heath as well. He came out there for half a day just to do one shot. He also helped schlepping the gear and gave Greg a hand with the camera.
The biggest thanks of all go to Greg. He brought out his Arri 235 and an Optimo for the shoot. We were going to use a set of primes that was available to us, but the longest lens was an 85. I really wanted something longer but I couldn't really spend the dough. Greg surprised me with the Optimo this morning. Which was great as we used the longer end of the zoom for many of our shots. I think our shortest focal length was 100. When we talked about rehoots initially there was just one shot that really stood out as needing to be replaced. So Greg said just get a 200' short end. I added some shots to optimize our day of reshoots and didn't really buy enough film. Once again Greg came through with two additional short ends. We used only the second, but it saved the day. I could have sweated out everything on the 320' short end I bought, but it was much better to have a little breathing room to make sure I got what we needed.
I got in my truck this morning at 5:45 and checked my email as the engine warmed up. First up: a message from one of my students backing out of class this month but wanting a refund. I want to be fair. I'm certainly not looking to rip anybody off, but I'm feeling ripped off. It's the kind of shit that gets under my skin and a big reason why teaching is a big pain in the ass sometimes. I've been preoccupied with it all day. Aside from when we were shooting, thankfully. This month I had eleven people tell me they wanted to take class. As of now, four of them will be in class on Tuesday. This unpredictable inability to commit on the part of actor-students really turns me off. It saps my energy for the craft. I think the solution is to set the policy and stick to it, letting go of the coddling and emotional investment. Enrollment may go down in the short run, but may preserve the joys of the teaching experience in the long run. I'm going to give this student a credit as she's new and hasn't been signed a contract detailing the terms of enrollment. Everybody will be given those this week and the co-dependence will come to a gentle end.
Lastly my in-laws have been here for the past week from Scotland. We've spent a day at the coast and and an evening at Timberline Lodge. Oregon is a breathtakingly beautiful place. I'm happy to share it with them and growing more proud of my native connection to this earthly paradise.
I'm not blogging much anymore. I miss posting things like seeing Dreyer's Ordet last week. But my life is better for spending less time on the interweb.
Ciao,
Signore Direttore
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Silent Film Frenzy
I've watched four silent films this week - Chaplin's City Lights and Modern Times, Lubitsch's Marriage Circle and Murnau's Sunrise. It takes a certain frame of mind to get into them, but once adjusted the rewards abound. It's funny how the parodies of Chaplin capture his gestures only generally. You see so many imitations of Chaplin that it's easy to forget how great he was. His work is much more nuanced and truly is masterful.
When I've done a lot of takes people have jokingly called me Kubrick. Kubrick's got nothing on Chaplin who would routinely take a hundred times and once did over 300 for one of the shots in the Tramp meets the Flower Girl sequence in Modern Times.
¡Silencio!
Signore Direttore
When I've done a lot of takes people have jokingly called me Kubrick. Kubrick's got nothing on Chaplin who would routinely take a hundred times and once did over 300 for one of the shots in the Tramp meets the Flower Girl sequence in Modern Times.
¡Silencio!
Signore Direttore
Friday, April 25, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
April F*^cking Twenty-Second ! ? !
Sheesh! The time is a flying. Perhaps I need to slow down. Though I often tell myself I need to do more. Which is it? Does packing it in make life seem more full or make it rush past? Not really sure.
So we're going along with all the stuff that we ask of life. And it's all going well. Underneath the exhaustion and feelings of being overwhelmed there's a satisfaction and a joy that life is rewarding. It takes a lot of diligent work and patience, but it is possible. Which I haven't always had an easy time seeing. I tend to panic if things don't happen right away. Or I procrastinate until conditions are ideal to proceed. I'm finding the middle way between those two extremes. I need to take that approach as a director and as a father. It helps in other areas as well like dealing with the contractors that are working on my building. Wow, what an exercise in being forthright and kind.
It also helps with actor-students. Overall I'm happy with the progress I've seen and the experience of working with the ten or so folks that have been through the studio these past few months. I've also had my disappointments lately. There seems to be a bit more giddy chatting going on in the studio than necessary. I tried to gently call attention to that again last week, we'll see if it make a difference. Also, my efforts to reach out to specific actors and build a relationship and develop scripts for them have been frustrating. I pitched a feature idea to one actor who called it a short when passing on it. Great listening? Were I an actor looking to do challenging and interesting work and a director that I respected took an interest in developing projects with me and building a relationship with me, I would be all over them. What I've seen too much of around here is actors being overbooked, confused and more concerned with their social lives and day jobs than digging in and getting dirty. Which is why film is not an actor's medium ultimately. Altman said it was, but they turned themselves over to his vision. So who's medium was it in the end? I really think I was on to something in Made Crooked by not letting actors prepare or get scared of playing things close to their bones.
When actors get flaky or confused I lose interest. If I really like them and respect their talents I try to be understanding. But there's a line for sure.
I was reading Fassbinder's editor's account of how he was always miles ahead of the actors, how he knew all of their lines and how he saw the nuances of their parts. And also how well he cast his films, having the ability to see the actors' true hearts and their deepest motives and needs. She told of his scathing response of actors complaining about why a certain take was used. He said technical problems happen, but it's your job to deliver your performance every take. I relate and probably shouldn't say so publicly. No wonder the poor bastard was so desperately lonely.
A lot of actors think they've got it together, but so many of them are so desperate and confused and vested in covering their insecurities that they can't reveal themselves in their work. Unless you trick them into it.
Feeling like The Prince,
Signore Direttore
So we're going along with all the stuff that we ask of life. And it's all going well. Underneath the exhaustion and feelings of being overwhelmed there's a satisfaction and a joy that life is rewarding. It takes a lot of diligent work and patience, but it is possible. Which I haven't always had an easy time seeing. I tend to panic if things don't happen right away. Or I procrastinate until conditions are ideal to proceed. I'm finding the middle way between those two extremes. I need to take that approach as a director and as a father. It helps in other areas as well like dealing with the contractors that are working on my building. Wow, what an exercise in being forthright and kind.
It also helps with actor-students. Overall I'm happy with the progress I've seen and the experience of working with the ten or so folks that have been through the studio these past few months. I've also had my disappointments lately. There seems to be a bit more giddy chatting going on in the studio than necessary. I tried to gently call attention to that again last week, we'll see if it make a difference. Also, my efforts to reach out to specific actors and build a relationship and develop scripts for them have been frustrating. I pitched a feature idea to one actor who called it a short when passing on it. Great listening? Were I an actor looking to do challenging and interesting work and a director that I respected took an interest in developing projects with me and building a relationship with me, I would be all over them. What I've seen too much of around here is actors being overbooked, confused and more concerned with their social lives and day jobs than digging in and getting dirty. Which is why film is not an actor's medium ultimately. Altman said it was, but they turned themselves over to his vision. So who's medium was it in the end? I really think I was on to something in Made Crooked by not letting actors prepare or get scared of playing things close to their bones.
When actors get flaky or confused I lose interest. If I really like them and respect their talents I try to be understanding. But there's a line for sure.
I was reading Fassbinder's editor's account of how he was always miles ahead of the actors, how he knew all of their lines and how he saw the nuances of their parts. And also how well he cast his films, having the ability to see the actors' true hearts and their deepest motives and needs. She told of his scathing response of actors complaining about why a certain take was used. He said technical problems happen, but it's your job to deliver your performance every take. I relate and probably shouldn't say so publicly. No wonder the poor bastard was so desperately lonely.
A lot of actors think they've got it together, but so many of them are so desperate and confused and vested in covering their insecurities that they can't reveal themselves in their work. Unless you trick them into it.
Feeling like The Prince,
Signore Direttore
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Freedom From Bondage
It's official - we are not going to get internet at our new house. We got iPhones instead so we can stay current via email and check the internet for essential information. I don't have an internet connection at my office either. I find it liberating. When I do sit down with a connection as I am right now, I find that all the virtual places I used to visit bore me when I'm in the flow of my life. It's only when I'm seeking to check out that hours spent trolling seem compelling.
I don't expect to blog as much, it's already fallen off quite a bit. I like certain things like the week in review that I started this year to track my movie watching. I'm not sure how I'll do that. There's a great program called Journler that I've using for over a year now. Perhaps I can do some entries there and cut and paste. I'm still amassing interesting quotes from filmmakers which I archive in Journler, so I'll try to continue to post those as well.
I saw Paranoid Park again the other night. If I was looking for a conventional narrative and, or to be entertained, I would be disappointed. I can see why it didn't do so well. Thing is I want to make films very similar to GSV's. So for me seeing the film multiple times reveals more of what Gus is exploring.
I met with my favorite leading lady yesterday to discuss shooting a challenging long-from experimental film. She seemed less than eager, but I quickly realized that her apprehension is a good thing. I don't want to do projects that are slam dunks; what would be the point in that? As an exercise in pointing the camera and other production techniques, slam dunks are great. As an opportunity to explore retaining the heart and pathos that's behind all of my favorite ideas throughout the filmmaking process, the short and sweet needs to give way to patient and dirty.
Freedom!
Signore Direttore
I don't expect to blog as much, it's already fallen off quite a bit. I like certain things like the week in review that I started this year to track my movie watching. I'm not sure how I'll do that. There's a great program called Journler that I've using for over a year now. Perhaps I can do some entries there and cut and paste. I'm still amassing interesting quotes from filmmakers which I archive in Journler, so I'll try to continue to post those as well.
I saw Paranoid Park again the other night. If I was looking for a conventional narrative and, or to be entertained, I would be disappointed. I can see why it didn't do so well. Thing is I want to make films very similar to GSV's. So for me seeing the film multiple times reveals more of what Gus is exploring.
I met with my favorite leading lady yesterday to discuss shooting a challenging long-from experimental film. She seemed less than eager, but I quickly realized that her apprehension is a good thing. I don't want to do projects that are slam dunks; what would be the point in that? As an exercise in pointing the camera and other production techniques, slam dunks are great. As an opportunity to explore retaining the heart and pathos that's behind all of my favorite ideas throughout the filmmaking process, the short and sweet needs to give way to patient and dirty.
Freedom!
Signore Direttore
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Or Not
Last year when finishing Dangerous Writing I complained to a friend of having to come back down to earth. She proclaimed the virtues of doing remodeling projects and working for money. I don't entirely disagree with her. However, I think my comments yesterday about getting going on another film need to be amended. And I think the source of getting ahead of myself had a lot to do with wanting to get into something new as an escape from the mundane that my friend finds more solace in than I apparently do.
Upon further consideration I determined that the idea that's working on me right now deserves more from me than a splintered dedication. Principally that I would want to retain the emotional link to the story and in order to do that I can not get caught up in producing the thing. But it's obvious to me that even if I find a competent producer, I will have to do quite a bit of producing myself before I could return to the heart of my story, which may be too late. Then of course with a producer on board, its realization would require substantially more budgetary resources than I can possibly muster any time soon. I will continue to let it form as I do the work of finishing films and remodeling our building. If it takes a shape that still begs to be produced, it will get what it deserves at some point in the future. The possibility of a very experimental truncated version remains viable.
One thing that does come out of all the leg and back work of my life is that I am becoming much more discerning about the projects to which I am willing to commit.
Blogged from my iPhone
Living Large,
Signore Direttore
Upon further consideration I determined that the idea that's working on me right now deserves more from me than a splintered dedication. Principally that I would want to retain the emotional link to the story and in order to do that I can not get caught up in producing the thing. But it's obvious to me that even if I find a competent producer, I will have to do quite a bit of producing myself before I could return to the heart of my story, which may be too late. Then of course with a producer on board, its realization would require substantially more budgetary resources than I can possibly muster any time soon. I will continue to let it form as I do the work of finishing films and remodeling our building. If it takes a shape that still begs to be produced, it will get what it deserves at some point in the future. The possibility of a very experimental truncated version remains viable.
One thing that does come out of all the leg and back work of my life is that I am becoming much more discerning about the projects to which I am willing to commit.
Blogged from my iPhone
Living Large,
Signore Direttore
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Losing My Virginity in An Orgy
Been awhile. No internet at the new house. Not yet, debating ever.
This is what's on my mind.
While I'm determined to finish some films before I start any new ones, I never can stop the flow of ideas. I'm always riding waves of stories, even when I don't want to. Often they attain a certain form in my mind and on paper. Sometimes I discuss them with select friends. Though I learned a long time ago if you tell an actor you have something in mind for them it's kind of like telling someone you love them - there's an obligation and it usually ends in heartbreak.
As I've been getting dirty with dust and paint and my back has been called upon to move every object in our lives, my mind has been at work. I've been thinking about what films I've directed and written that really mean something to me. Which really come forme the deepest apart of me, expressing and exploring some mystery that intrigues and eludes me. There are many stories that I've authored that are exercises in craft and sometimes in vanity.
When ideas come to me, they usually give me a little hit. Then sometimes, like with Original Glory, Made Crooked and Dangerous Writing, they take grab me by the heart. In the case of DW, I think I ultimately tried to make too much sense of the plot, thus making it more of a film from my intellect. Which is fine, it was where I was at the time. My mind is strong enough to interest me and hopefully others. I recall this stuff to remind myself to continue to explore the new idea from the place that it's grabbing me. let it be known that I'm considering breaking my vow of abstinence.
One of the things that prompted my filmmaking abstinence was not wanting to get ahead of Made Crooked. It's something I'm very proud of. I want it to be my first film. And it is. I feel the need to fit my filmmaking endeavors into a tidy CV. Not going to happen folks. My cherry was busted long ago.
Right now my mind is keen to respect the need to finish my past films, but I don't think it is necessary to sit on my hands in the meantime.
I got the ghost of Fassbinder in my bones - nine films in 1970. Fucking A.
The Whore of Indiedom,
Signore Direttore
This is what's on my mind.
While I'm determined to finish some films before I start any new ones, I never can stop the flow of ideas. I'm always riding waves of stories, even when I don't want to. Often they attain a certain form in my mind and on paper. Sometimes I discuss them with select friends. Though I learned a long time ago if you tell an actor you have something in mind for them it's kind of like telling someone you love them - there's an obligation and it usually ends in heartbreak.
As I've been getting dirty with dust and paint and my back has been called upon to move every object in our lives, my mind has been at work. I've been thinking about what films I've directed and written that really mean something to me. Which really come forme the deepest apart of me, expressing and exploring some mystery that intrigues and eludes me. There are many stories that I've authored that are exercises in craft and sometimes in vanity.
When ideas come to me, they usually give me a little hit. Then sometimes, like with Original Glory, Made Crooked and Dangerous Writing, they take grab me by the heart. In the case of DW, I think I ultimately tried to make too much sense of the plot, thus making it more of a film from my intellect. Which is fine, it was where I was at the time. My mind is strong enough to interest me and hopefully others. I recall this stuff to remind myself to continue to explore the new idea from the place that it's grabbing me. let it be known that I'm considering breaking my vow of abstinence.
One of the things that prompted my filmmaking abstinence was not wanting to get ahead of Made Crooked. It's something I'm very proud of. I want it to be my first film. And it is. I feel the need to fit my filmmaking endeavors into a tidy CV. Not going to happen folks. My cherry was busted long ago.
Right now my mind is keen to respect the need to finish my past films, but I don't think it is necessary to sit on my hands in the meantime.
I got the ghost of Fassbinder in my bones - nine films in 1970. Fucking A.
The Whore of Indiedom,
Signore Direttore
Thursday, April 03, 2008
The Master Says 305
Artists should cut out their tongues for fear of not letting their work be self-explanatory.
Henri Matisse
Henri Matisse
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
But A Dream Logline
A nursery rhyme proves to be more effective than orders and
combat skills in advancing two soldiers across a minefield.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
The Master Says 304
When I show people on the screen the ways that things can go wrong, my aim is to warn them that that's the way things will go if they don't change their lives.
Rainer Werner Fassbinder
Rainer Werner Fassbinder
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