Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Behind the Green Door

Ever see that film? One of the classic porn films, film with a capital F, of the 70s. Nothing great enough about it to track it down, but the title is great and it's not near as graphic as modern adult videos.
I recall the title only because I'm becoming increasingly aware of what's behind things. What is this emotion about? What is behind this line of action or dialogue? Is there another way to see this? What will I find behind the green door?

My life is very full at the moment. Patience, diligence, delayed gratification, lowered expectations, slow and steady wins the race. Indeed.
I'm experiencing a bit of grief in many areas. I don't often allow myself to experience grief as I'm wary of making excuses for myself. My default is to become cynical and closed off to my own healing. As I keep my feet moving from early in the morning until late in the evening each day, I am trying more than ever to feel a little of the pain that I carry. Once I feel it for awhile, I'm trying to let it go and make the burden a little lighter. I want to put some of it into writing soon. Currently it helps to experience it more clearly without cynicism's cloak.

My heart is full of love for you at this moment.
Get it while you can.
Signore Direttore

No comments: