Losing My Virginity in An Orgy

Been awhile. No internet at the new house. Not yet, debating ever.
This is what's on my mind.
While I'm determined to finish some films before I start any new ones, I never can stop the flow of ideas. I'm always riding waves of stories, even when I don't want to. Often they attain a certain form in my mind and on paper. Sometimes I discuss them with select friends. Though I learned a long time ago if you tell an actor you have something in mind for them it's kind of like telling someone you love them - there's an obligation and it usually ends in heartbreak.
As I've been getting dirty with dust and paint and my back has been called upon to move every object in our lives, my mind has been at work. I've been thinking about what films I've directed and written that really mean something to me. Which really come forme the deepest apart of me, expressing and exploring some mystery that intrigues and eludes me. There are many stories that I've authored that are exercises in craft and sometimes in vanity.
When ideas come to me, they usually give me a little hit. Then sometimes, like with Original Glory, Made Crooked and Dangerous Writing, they take grab me by the heart. In the case of DW, I think I ultimately tried to make too much sense of the plot, thus making it more of a film from my intellect. Which is fine, it was where I was at the time. My mind is strong enough to interest me and hopefully others. I recall this stuff to remind myself to continue to explore the new idea from the place that it's grabbing me. let it be known that I'm considering breaking my vow of abstinence.
One of the things that prompted my filmmaking abstinence was not wanting to get ahead of Made Crooked. It's something I'm very proud of. I want it to be my first film. And it is. I feel the need to fit my filmmaking endeavors into a tidy CV. Not going to happen folks. My cherry was busted long ago.
Right now my mind is keen to respect the need to finish my past films, but I don't think it is necessary to sit on my hands in the meantime.
I got the ghost of Fassbinder in my bones - nine films in 1970. Fucking A.

The Whore of Indiedom,
Signore Direttore