Change Blindness

Funny thing about Bunuel films - I always think it's going to be a chore to watch them. And every time I'm easily charmed. And in a way that no other filmmaker achieves. Not to say he's the maestro of all maestros, but he has a specific talent of challenging our minds and our eyes in a very easy manner. I'm tempted to say his films possess a facile charisma, but it isn't accurate. He's simply a master.
The two actresses above play the same role in That Obscure Object of Desire. The first few scenes I wasn't certain of the switch. Aside from context and costume no effort is made to obscure the use of two actresses. A little hiccup started happening - "that's not the same actress" - and then I started watching for it. Once noticed, it became obvious and yet remained inspired as I engaged the switches on another level. I've read that some people view the entire film without noticing. A phenomena known as change blindness.

¡vive le cinema francais!
Signore Direttore

Una idea caprichosa de un dia lluviado

whimsy

possession

Sevilla

nostalgia

lace

smoke rings

superballs

go go boots

pompadours

ascots

The rain has stopped now.

Directing Actors Weekly

It's been a while since I've had a camera between me and an actor. End of June to be exact. I've been very busy with other things and I decided not to teach indefinitely. I had a short planned for the fall but the main actor flaked on a prep meeting and I decided to move on to more pressing matters.
The other night I had dinner with an old college friend. She was my Spanish study partner. She's now an immigration lawyer, speaking Spanish daily. She asked how my Spanish was. I said it had been a while since I'd had any conversations, but that it will never leave me completely. Give me a week or two fully immersed in it and I'm fluent.
I think directing is much the same. The language I speak with actors will never leave me. However, since most independent films shoot in four weeks or less, a week or two to regain fluency is a costly reassumilation. In short, I need to stay in practice.
I'm not going to rush to schedule a practice session, but I'm going to reach out to a couple of talented actors this week to plan some workshopping in the coming weeks.

Ciao,
Signore Direttore

The Master Says 340

The banal and the weird are not incompatible.

Errol Morris

The Master Says 339

People prefer to be the hero of their life story rather than the villain.

Errol Morris

Bounty

I said I hated it, but I didn't say I was going to give up. These go in the mail tomorrow morning.

Signore Direttore

Just In Case You Thought I'd Gone Soft ...

I FUCKING HATE WITHOUTABOX AND THE ENTIRE PROCESS OF SUBMITTING TO FILM FESTIVALS!
I've been working on submitting But A Dream to film festivals all week. Every film festival has different submission criteria but the details of which are at once vague and specific. What the fuck is a flyer one sheet? This is not a standard designation and no further details are available. Why do I need to send posters and fliers across the country before the film has been selected? Isn't that a huge waste of resources? I imagine their offices piled with paper, ninety percent of which is going to be thrown in the trash very soon. Why not embrace the EPK? Electronic Press Kits have been around for nearly a decade.
I'm losing my mind trying to track the criteria of twenty plus film fests. This one wants a Black and White Production Still and a thirty word synopsis. Another wants two color stills, a press kit including a seventy-five word synopsis. I'm trying to build a comprehensive EPK that includes all of the above. So far I've written a logline, a one line synopsis (25 words), a short synopsis (50 words), a longer synopsis (75 words) , a full synopsis (200 words) and a DVD package synopsis.
Yesterday WAB mistakenly submitted my project to the Teen section of the Atlanta Film Festival. There is no way to correct it without writing a letter of explanation to the festival. It is impossible to resubmit the same project until the first submission had been removed from the system. As the day progressed I repeatedly filled out Narrative or Dramatic Short as my intended submission only to be sent on to a page dedicated to submitting my feature film. I was met with warnings that my film wasn't long enough for the feature category. In many instances I had to click through many times before I got the correct page randomly.
Then I got to pay a bunch of money. It feels like a big racket, leaving me with a huge lump of acid in my gut.
I love short films. I really hope a better distribution channel develops. And I don't mean the fucking internet. The net is a great showcase for some things, but I didn't spend over ten Gs, ask for beau coup favors and work my own ass off on a film like But A Dream to put it on YouTube.
Perhaps when some acceptance letters start to arrive around the first of the year I'll be singing a different tune. Perhaps even gloating. Or crying. Right now, I'm just bitter and I can't wait to be done with this.

Signore Direttore

The Master Says 338

Slow motion gets you there faster.

Hoagy Carmichael

Things Get Even Funnier

So I had a good idea for the NOLA project on the flight but when I sat down to outline it for my partner via email Saturday something came over me mid-message. What started out as a brief outline ended with my offer to buy him out and proceed on my own. I realized I didn't want to go back and forth anymore. It doesn't work for me. If I'm going to pitch idea after idea for the basic "What's it's about?", I might as well originate my own story. But there's a seed in my buddy's script that has been planted in my mind and I want to shape its growth. But since we stand so diametrically opposed on the basic tone of the story, I need to take over or step back and let him do it on his own. The finality scared me but I realized that if I didn't like C so much my decision would have been easier. I decided to trust our friendship and ask for what I wanted.
So now it's Monday morning and I'm on my own. I've been drifting in and out of the story since Saturday evening when my offer was accepted. I'm not going to jump into another draft just yet. I need to nail the logline, title, theme and the basic story before I proceed with another draft. There are three main characters that are all very rich and three dimensional. I'm debating whether to pit one against the other with the third caught in between or pitting all three against an arch villain. It could go either way and I'll be exploring the possibilities this week.
I've also got to finish my press kit for But A Dream. I find it annoying to do prior to acceptance to a festival. It's a waste of paper and postage as far as I'm concerned. Many festivals will accept an EPK, but it seems many want hard copies of production stills, bios and such. That's the first order of business today as I've got to get three of fifteen applications out the door by Wednesday. I'll be sending the other twelve off, though they have later deadlines. It's just one more step in the never ending journey of independent filmmaking.

Ciao,
Signore Direttore

Funny How Things Work Out

I said a very pleasant, warm and grateful goodbye to my host in New Orleans yesterday afternoon at the airport. As I walked inside to the ticket counter the lack of momentum and the seeming impossibility of getting this story back on track weighed heavily on me.
Then I found out my plane was delayed two hours and that I would miss my connection in LA, requiring me to take the next flight out at six this morning. Waiting in the security line I called a friend in LA, who funnily enough I want to play one of the leads in the NOLA project and who said he was just about to call me when I rang. He was working on his TV show at Paramount to which he invited me to come hang for the rest of the night and then stay at his place. He even sent someone to pick me up. I changed my connection to a flight leaving at 11.
I wrote a couple of emails and read The New Yorker (great Gladwell article on The Late Bloomer by the way - thanks DM) while I waited for the NOLA-LAX flight. I couldn't help but think if things go the way I'd like I might be flying between LA and NO more often. But it really seemed like a distant fantasy. I had a sinking feeling that I was deluded to have ever thought such a thing, such was my disconnection to the script.
I managed not to dwell on it, diverting myself with the rest of the NYer and some Shostakovitch. Then somewhere over West Texas or New Mexico an idea surfaced. For the first time in a week I was able to say what the film was about in a sentence as several points of dramatic action and twists of plot came cascading over me. I quickly wrote them down, smiled to myself and then, before I could cast any doubts, distracted myself with watching ER on the in-flight programming.
I arrived in LA, stepped out to the curb into a car and was at Paramount twenty minutes later. I got to say I liked walking around the lot. Very nice feeling. Found my friend, hung out with him in his trailer until they came and walked us to set. The 2nd 2nd set me up with a chair in front of the monitors with the director, writer, UPM and scripty. They gave me a headset and I got to spend the next couple of hours watching my buddy work. It was great. I enjoyed the experience tremendously - I felt right-sized about things. I both learned a few things and felt confident that working on that level would not be a stretch for me.
While they were turning around, we took a tour of the sets and noticed on the plaque outside Stage 32 that Citizen Kane, Chinatown and the original Star Trek TV series had all been made on that stage.
We walked to his home after he wrapped. It was a beautiful night and a perfect ending to a long day. He has read my first draft of the NOLA script and knows of my interest in working with him on the film. He's interested and he liked my new ideas that I shared with him before going to bed.
I was dreading going back to Portland with the project dead in the water, instead I have a little spring in my step. The West Texas brainstorms may turn out to be duds, but they'll keep me moving at the very least. Which is all I really need.

Grazie,
Signore Direttore

New Orleans Days 4 & 5

Yesterday was the big tour of potential locations. I was looking as a filmmaker initially, studying the dereliction purely as setting. Not to exploit it as much as to study it as character. Before long I just got numb. Three years later, block after scarcely populated block and house after abandoned and destroyed house. A collosal disaster. I've spent time in Cuba and Mexico and even the slums of San Francisco and New York, but this is on another scale. I took a few pictures for reference, but mostly I just looked around feeling empty.

At the same time, we've hit a wall with where we want to take the story. In many ways it feels like we've gone backwards, maybe even terminally. I really can't say. The trip is still very pleasant, but the day ended with watching Game 1 of the World Series and a few half-hearted stabs at different approaches to the story.
As a truly independent filmmaker I rely heavily on momentum, I feel its ebb profoundly after yesterday. I trust that everything that happens at all happens as it should. I don't like it, but I can accept that time takes time. Sometimes more than others.
We're going to Mother's for lunch on the way to the airport.
If nothing else, I always eat well down here.

Signore Direttore

New Orleans Day 3

Started another beautiful day with a long walk during which I explored Uptown winding my way along Exposition, Laurel, Constance and Camp streets. I gave a lot of thought to our stalled process as I took in the beautiful homes, trees and flowers. I resolved to step back from writing and try to guide the story more as a producer. I meditated on that role to make sure I was considering it as a proactive rather than reactive move. We have had many clashes over the overall tone of the story. The original draft read as fairly dark, which I was attracted to and developed further in my page one rewrite. Part of the motive of coming down here was the resistance of my partner to the rewrite's themes which I thought were an elaboration of those in the original. Our phone conferences and emails got bogged down with discussions of minutiae as did the first two days down here. It was really getting me down. I had the sinking feeling that this was not meant to be at some point on Monday afternoon. I pressed on in spite of my doubts until late that night, but when I woke up yesterday I knew I couldn't go forth in the same manner.
I returned from my walk, stopping to stretch on the front porch. Charlie was playing his grand piano inside and I enjoyed listening to him as I stretched. The small measure of animosity that was a product of not getting what I wanted from the relationship vanished. I ate a light breakfast before sitting down across from Charlie to work. I didn't start with a declaration of my retreat from a co-writing arrangement, but with some questions. Then we watched Hustle & Flow. Followed by some discussion of theme and structure of H&F and our script over Fried Green Tomato- dressed Shrimp Po Boys on Magazine Street. We continued our talk on a tour of the less salubrious streets of Uptown and a stop to pick up some Gumbo for dinner.
I did lower the boom of my withdrawal once we got back to the house. I did so kindly and with extreme measure. It wasn't a ploy to achieve anything other than leverage on the process of getting this script ready to produce. However it had the effect of making clear that in order to work together effectively, especially long distance, that things had to change and that Charlie was willing to do what it took to preserve a co-writing relationship. Which isn't to say he was willing to abandon his insistence on a much lighter tone. Through our discussions I realized that his unwavering made all too clear in our discussions was not clear in his original draft or in the films he had mentioned in association with the story. It's kind of like being married -- the relationship is based on a fundamental attraction and common goal, but you often find out, many times too late, that you weren't really talking about the same thing. "Oh, that's what you meant."
As we worked, I continued to approach things as a co-writer. But I felt differently. I had let go of things. I could feel it. It helped move things along.
The only problem is that I woke up today fairly certain that the strides we made last night were a reconciliation toward a lighter tone rather than progress toward finding a solid structure on which to hang this story.
Back to the poetics board.
It's a demanding process. But it has its rewards. Last night's were a sunset walk in the park to see hundreds of egrets, ibises and other fowl nesting in the trees and the pond and a double serving of delicious Gumbo for dinner.
Things could be worse.

Signore Direttore

New Orleans Day 2

More running in Audubon Park. Followed by a long day of story conferencing. It's very difficult to say just what I'm going through for many reasons, especially on a blog. I'm glad I'm here. So far it's not going as I'd hoped, but I'm trying to trust that everything happens as it should and the benefit of these impasses will be revealed at some point.
Right now I'm a little confounded as to how best to proceed. Everything is friendly and nice, but there are issues of compatibility that I'm seeking to resolve.
More will be revealed.

Signore Direttore

New Orleans Day 1

Got in late last night. A cab dropped me at my friend's place Uptown. I dropped my stuff, called my family and set off on the walk to the bar where my host was playing a gig. His house in on Camp Street where it dead ends into Audubon Park. The walk down Magazine Street to Nashville Ave where I cut south to Tchoupitoulas was eerily quiet. Most of the beautiful shotgun houses fronted by lush gardens were dark. Every once in a while a cat would rush out from under a house or car. I jumped every time. Though the houses were dark, the night was very bright. And warm. Though once I arrived at the bar where the doors were open and most wore short sleeves I heard many complaints of how cold it was. I was wearing a sweater and was just right.
I went for a run this morning in the park which is a hundred feet from the front door. The weather is perfect - a sunny and mild 75. I took my time warming up and stretching.
We're going to a party to watch the Saints and eat food in a bit and then Charlie has a gig tonight. We plan to roll up our sleeves and get to work Monday morning after I've had a chance to see and hear a bit of this very unique place. Everything has its own tempo down here. I feel myself breathing more easily, just slowing down. It feels good. Supports one of my mantras - it's no big deal and we're not going anywhere.

Signore Direttore

The Master Says 337

We've lost everything, ... I don't know what we're going to do. I never wanted to leave.

Fats Domino

The Master Says 336

I think one of the reasons people quit is because they're afraid they won't be able to get better and better; that they have to come to a zenith of some kind.

Conrad Hall

The Master Says 335

The line between virtue and vice is one dividing the whole of mankind.

Aristotle

The Master Says 334

Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.

Edgar Allan Poe

The Master Says 333

It's always the fool that stands where evil stood before.

David Milch

The Master Says 332

Be patient to all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.

Rainer Maria Rilke

Working

I'm working on the New Orleans project. Rewriting, phone meetings, research, casting -- all very enjoyable work. In part, because New Orleans is so far away both geographically and otherwise, it doesn't seem real somehow. Being down there soon should help with that. Even so, doing something like this on spec is a daydream. How not to proceed other than acting as if this movie is going to get made? When in reality it's some words on a stack of paper. Of course those very powerful words conjure a story that compels me like nothing I've worked on before, evoking people and a place that I feel like I know in spite of the fact that I haven't been to New Orleans in nearly fifteen years. I believe others will also know that place as intimately once they read those words that Charlie and I have been writing. The doubts come in often enough - what makes you think this is so great? There are hundreds if not thousands of guys like you trying to get their movies made. How the hell are you going to overcome that? The thing is, I don't know if -- but I do know how and while it may be a steep climb, I feel like I have something that's worthy of carrying up the mountain.

As I meet some New Orleans actors through email and over the phone I really get excited. They have distinct voices and experiences yet we talk across the daunting divides of race and geography, speaking a language more common than I've often experienced in projects I've done in my own backyard. I thought I might feel like an outsider or that there would be a distance. So far that hasn't been the case. I think part of the credit goes to our insistence on meeting actors there first before trying to cast in LA or NY. We're also staunchly avoiding all the silly Bourbon Street-Voodoo-Gumbo-Mardi Gras-Big Easy crap that permeates every film set down there.
JFK and Down By Law, my favorite film depictions of New Orleans are not really about the city and only feature it anecdotally.

There's a great documentary about Katrina coming to Cinema 21 soon called Trouble The Water. Here's the trailer (talk about a voice!):

Sometimes nothins a pretty cool hand ...

I feel like a part of me is missing.

Descanso en paz, senor.

Quick Note About NOLA Project

I've been doing a page one rewrite of the New Orleans script the past few days. I started just doing some outlining and some light research and had a long conversation with the writer Sunday night. I had a lot of questions about things and was feeling a little shaky. But I jumped into a big scene in the middle that needed a little shaping and the next thing you know I'd written/rewritten over sixty pages of the script. There's a good twenty pages that I've reworked several times. And another ten pages of rewrites that I've thrown out.
I've been working day and night on it and it feels so great. Feels like a calling. This script is so rich. There are so many distinct characters to work with. The action takes place more or less simultaneously all around New Orleans. It's kind of like Crash but without the PC moralizing. But way better locations and music.

Quick endnote: when I feel really good about something, I can't help but think I'm setting myself up for a fall. I'm trying to enjoy these joyful feelings born of being creative. It's getting easier, but those cynical naysayers upstairs won't shut up.

Grazie,
Signore Direttore

The Master Says 331

The artist is the medium between his fantasies and the rest of the world.

Federico Fellini

Exciting Week

I've been either stressed out or down and out with a head cold all week and yet I have to say it's been a fantastic week. In addition to finishing But A Dream and seeing significant progress on Dangerous Writing I set up a meeting with a very fine actor for an upcoming project and finalized an option agreement on a promising screenplay.
The actor is someone that's always stood out in theater productions at ART and PCS - one of the few locals that I admire. I've written a leading role for him in a short that I think he's going to really bring to life.
The screenplay is a romantic thriller set in New Orleans. It's not like anything I would have written on my own, which taking nothing away from my writing, I find really exciting. The plan is to rewrite it and shop it with me attached to direct.
While I've been ill with this head cold I've been reading David Simon's Homicide. I've become such a fanatic devotee to all things related to The Wire. I've watched Seasons 1-4, The Corner, read four or five books by George Pelecanos, one by Richard Price and another by Dennis Lehane. Pelecanos, Price and Lehane all write for The Wire. I'm saving Season 5 for awhile.
I'm also digging into some exciting research for my tv pilot. I may let that stew for a bit while I did into the New Orleans script.
I've been letting Sway, my novel in progress, simmer on a back burner and while it made me nervous at first now I feel comfortable that I'll get back to it when the time is right.
Everything feels very free and momentous. I'm enjoying it without taking it for granted. I've been here before and I've seen the momentum dissipate without the proper respect and diligence. An odd combination of patience and avidity is required. Finishing a project that I'm proud of fuels both qualities.

Grazie,
Signore DIrettore

Chutes and Ladders

The DVD encoding conflama consumed all of yesterday. The morning edition solved some problems and confirmed the errors of the previous day. It took some diligence to push them away from pretty good, where they seemed content, toward a solid good. I'm doing better at keeping my cool in these situations, pushing earnestly toward getting what I need for projects. Formerly I knew two modes when things went south - strident intimidation or passive aggresive withdrawal. I'm happy to have learned some new skills, though there's no doubt it saps my energy. I've got a lot of energy tied up in these unfinished films. There's fear of success and fear of failure. There's hope of recognition and fear that I'm kidding myself.
One of the things I'm discovering is that I'm conflating recognition for my talents and accomplishments with acceptance by the world at large. I had a dream the other night of being an overnight guest in a friend's house. The friend is successful in the film world and in reality is very generous toward me. As he was in the dream. He offered me a bed in a loft that required ascending a ladder to reach. He and his wife easily scrambled up and down the ladder, but when it came time for me to climb it I couldn't.
As I consider the completion of projects and the possibilities of submitting to festivals like Sundance, I yearn for both recognition and acceptance. Expectations overwhelm my efforts to focus on the work. It is an ascension that I seek. An ascension above and beyond myself. But if the work is coming from me then I don't want to leave myself. It's mine if only I'll let myself have it. And recognition from Sundance or Studios or my peers is a confirmation of what I already am rather than a reinvention.
I did submit But A Dream to Sundance last night. And I did watch the rough cut of Dangerous Writing with the editor today. I'm proud of the work, confident that it's evidence of a strong and unique vision and I'm very hopeful it will be recognized as such. I need to stay off the ladder. I'm not going anywhere and there's nothing to prove.

Ciao,
Signore Direttore

Impatiently Waiting

Yesterday we finalized the color on But A Dream and output it to Digi-Beta and DVD. I worked late at my office getting the Sundance application finished. I decided I should view the DVD one more time. I was told all was good and I have watched the film over a dozen times in the past week, nevermind the hundred or so viewings over the past several months. I'm glad I decided to check the DVD - it was unwatchable. Blurry strobing, interlacing artifacts - man, what a bummer. I woke up a few times last night looking anxiously forward to the post house opening so as to get some answers. First time I called I was told my contact wasn't in yet. My query as to when he was expected was brushed off with an impertinent, It's early, maybe in a half hour or hour. When I called back forty-five minutes later she told me he wasn't going to be in today. So I spoke to someone else that I hadn't worked with. He told me he would get back to me in half of an hour. It's now been that and an hour - and voila! they just now called. I was going to write that I think I'm just going to go down there. But now I wait somewhat more calmly knowing someone is indeed working on it.
Even before this setback, I was feeling exhausted by this process. I'm basically doing it alone, which is a lonely proposition after awhile. There seem to be so many things that need attention and that can go wrong even in the hands of pros. No wonder I've faltered in completing films.
I'm going to keep on keeping on. Doubtful thoughts do creep in in these trying times.
I'm looking at established, premiere festivals to submit the film to. So far there's Sundance, Rotterdam, Berlin, Atlanta, Athens, Ann Arbor, Florida, Nashville, SXSW, GenArts, Tribeca, Krakow and Los Angeles. Many of which are qualifiers for AMPAS, or more commonly known as The Oscars. It's funny to think of the film in such grandiose terms. I don't expect to get into all of these festivals, let alone win them or an Oscar, but getting to this point with a quality project does open some possibilities.
It's funny how hope grows. For not only am I impatiently awaiting the DVD file transfer, I'm also anxious to hear from some of these festivals before I've even sent in my submission.
Impatience is one thing, but sitting paralyzed unable to do anything in the meantime is something else. I need to get up and organize some camera gear or empty the trash. Anything but the dreaded internet. Except to update my iPhone software. Another device in my life teaching me patience.

¡viva!
Signroe Direttore

The Master Says 330

Imagination grows by exercise, and contrary to common belief, is more powerful in the mature than in the young.

W. Somerset Maugham

The Good Life (cont.)

While hurricanes battered the Southeast we were in Sisters, Oregon enjoying perfect weather.

Grazie,
Signore Direttore

The Good Life

I've spent the better part of the week in post-production houses working on But A Dream. Talking about my ideas and their realization while crafting the sound and picture in the finishing stages is a pleasure. There are difficulties and challenges. The helpful competence and positive attitudes of the technicians makes handling the hiccups a lot easier. And getting a nice hot lunch served in the suite while working is a nice feature as well. Once more Monday. Then it's back to my office with Jordan and the other boys for less commodious working conditions.

Mollycoddled,
Signore Direttore

Timeshifting Time Capsule

The Betamax, one of our first timeshifting devices. I liked the smaller tapes, personally. And I've always been a Sony fan. Perhaps due to their advertising in the 70s and 80s - "It's not a TV, it's a Sony". One of my girlfriends was the model on the packaging of the first Walkman's. Maybe that's it. Anyway, porn distributors wanted the VHS format and that's where we ended up until DVDs came along.
Is timeshifting and other on-demand media conveniences good for us? While I enjoy it, I don't always think so. Since I've given up the internet at home, I realize how little I really need to do on the web. And the mobile phone - that too is a mixed blessing.
Anyway, I love the colors in the Betamax commercial. And the real people feel. "Taxi" was a big TV show back then. The whole cabbie motif has really changed. I don't think there are more than about three white cab drivers in New York City in 2008. I actually know one of them - a photographer friend that being young and hip passed by, leaving him driving a cab not so much as an ironic underbelly lark but as his most viable means of support.
This commercial seems to really illustrate for me how much the world has changed. It feels dated, sure, but there's something immutable about it as well as being so of the time it was made. Maybe it's the precision of its capture of the era that makes it timeless.

Nostalgico,
Signore Direttore

Our Politics Mirror Our Stupidity

I am unhappy but not too surprised to see McCain currently leads 50-46 in a recent USA Today poll. I know it's a post-convention bump. We looove publicity - please just tell us what to think.
I also saw that in a recent CNN research poll 45% of those polled felt Sarah Palin is ready to be President. In the same poll 75% believed that she was chosen because having a woman on the ticket would help McCain get elected. So only a quarter don't have a cynical view of politics, but almost half are willing to give a very inexperienced person a heart attack away from the oval office the benefit of the doubt.
What the hell have we been going on and on about for the past year if this VP candidate can come out of nowhere and earn that much support based on one speech? It's a joke.
And what of all this crap about her being pretty? She's certainly not physically ugly, but she's nothing to get excited about.
And why is Obama's lack of experience such an issue? W. was governor of Texas for six years. That was the extent of his experience in public office. Not too much more time than Obama has been in the US Senate, let alone as a state legislator. I won't compare the intelligence of the two men. Not because I think the answer is so obvious, but for that I fear intelligence is becoming an undervalued commodity in America.
I don't talk about politics that often, but I'm starting to get to the boiling point. The candidates bother me far less than the enfranchised and the fourth estate. Ugh.

Disgusted,
Signore Direttore

The Master Says 329

Honor the source.

David Simon

The Master Says 328

A 'professional', at least in the common usage of the term, is one who is very far from being 'independent'. If the artist seeks - indeed demands and must have - 'freedom', then the industry professional must face that what he needs and wants is 'dependence', the mutual and reciprocal support of others in what is an industry that produces a product designed for mass consumption in the hopes of massive profits.

Alexander Mackendrick

Trudging Ever Forward

I had a spotting session for the sound design of But A Dream at Digital One this morning. It was one more experience that I went into uneasy and came out calm and confident. I directed the film two and a half years ago. I've since made two features and over two dozen shorts. I'm a far more experienced filmmaker at this point. I've also lost all perspective on the film. As I sat through it one more time this morning I wondered if the tension I was feeling was a result of the story or nerves from sitting in a room with three strangers. I've also noticed that people are very quiet after seeing it. So there's that pregnant pause that makes me think people are trying to think of something nice to say that will cover how much they hated it and resent my asking for ten minutes of their time.
I've gotten better about sitting and waiting for responses to my work. Even when people don't like something I seem to survive. The Digital One guys liked it. The sound designer, Chip Sloan, had some very welcome ideas for it. He really got it in a way that the other sound editors I've been trying to work with for the past six months did not. I guess those relationships didn't work out for a reason. There was one guy that had done some stuff on a few of GSV's films that I wanted to work with for the very wrong reason of having some names in my credits with impressive bona fides. Though there are several others that worked on BAD like Neil Kopp, TG Firestone and Greg Schmitt that have kept very good working company.
Moving on from my egotistical concerns ...
I was anxious about the meeting this morning. It started last night. I've been working on my Withoutabox application form. I'm hoping the film will have its World Premiere at Sundance. I've been doing this for awhile and this is the first film that I've finished that I think merits submission to premiere festivals. I'm looking forward to finding out how it fares, all the while coming up with judgments of it that confirm its failure. It's just a way to try to control the outcome. I want to feel safe and my brain is telling me it's safer to fail.
That's what the film is about - taking that next step even though it might be your last.
Robert Evans says you need to learn from your successes. I'm going to call but A Dream a success right here and now before I even send it off to Sundance. Goodness knows I've learned a lot from making it and seeing it through to meet the world on its own merits. It feels nice to learn from my success.

Bravo,
Signore Direttore

In Search of a Midnight Kiss

I loved this film. You, too, can go see it at selected theaters like The Hollywood in Portland. It's well written, well acted and beautifully photographed. Downtown Los Angeles has never looked so good.
This film gives me hope for Digital Cinema. The filmmakers told a simple story in their own collective voice. They created something wonderful, avoiding the usual failed imitation of a big studio production or the snarky sloppy cam of many DIY films.

In Admiration,
Signore Direttore

Back to School

Thus ending another summer. All three of our children are in school this year. Rented three units in the apartment building - only one unit left to renovate. But A Dream is getting finalized in the next week.
The fall looks like a promising season for some writing as well as guiding the two features home. Kind of hard to believe. I'm a little breathless - both out of breath from all the activity and lacking breath from the anxiety of actually finishing some things.
My life truly is good. But for me, it's really hard to accept at times. I'm not used to not being in crisis. I'm sure some things will come up - life always intercedes, but this feeling that there are no big deals coming my way is hard to imagine let alone embrace.
My wife is going out of town for a job and I have to get contractors going on the last unit, so I'm keeping my writing expectations low for a couple more weeks. Oh and I have meetings and sessions with sound designers and colorists and graphic designers for But A Dream. Funny how I tell myself I'm not doing much and then write it down or tell someone and realize, oh shit I'm not really taking it easy after all.
Today, I'm off to coffee with a friend and colleague and then to a school picnic at Blue Lake.

Grazie,
Signore Direttore

David Fucking Milch

Ooh Danger!

I watched the first cut of Dangerous Writing today. I prepared myself for some big holes in the story and some gut-wrenching pain as best I could. I actually considered not giving any notes and just letting it wash over me this first time through in order to try to accept it for what it is rather than as having failed to bring my vision for it to life.
Though it was probably wise to lower my expectations, none of that was necessary. The film is good. We succeeded in making the film I imagined. The camera work is nice, the performances are all good to very good, and the story comes through. David, Aislinn, Joey and Andrew all do very nice work. They all have moments of excellence. The rest of the cast also does a fine job. The sound kind of sucks, but what do you expect shooting in real locations with no money? With some work it can be improved for the most part.
It was really great to see it. I look forward to seeing the next cut and I think this is a film everyone will be proud to have been involved with.

Grazie,
Signore Direttore

The Master Says 327

Success is a finished book, a stack of pages each of which is filled with words. If you reach that point, you have won a victory over yourself no less impressive than sailing single-handed around the world.

Tom Clancy

Vicky Christina Barcelona

Going to a Woody Allen film in the past ten or twelve years has been a tricky proposition. He's made a few good ones and more than a few stinkers. I haven't exactly gone out of my way to get to the theater for his films as I did beginning in high school. I think the last Woody Allen film I went to see in a theater was Celebrity.
I'm not a fan of Scarlett Johansen. Even her undeniably luscious curves seemed to diminish in the wake of her flat performances. But Woody seemed to find a way to use her effectively in Match Point so I wasn't going to stay away from this one because of her. I adore Penelope Cruz, especially when she has the freedom of speaking and being Spanish.
This film evoked Allen's films of the 70s and 80s - simple situational films dealing with neurotic relationships. Though this story was a bit thinner and the cast wasn't up to the antics of the great former Allen ensembles. Which isn't to say javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz and Patricia Clarkson are not good actors or delivered wanting performances. I just don't think they had much to do. In films like Hannah and her Sisters, which this film seems most closely related, the energy was up, up, up. Perhaps the culture of the siesta invaded the film. I want to remind myself here that Woody isn't obligated to duplicate his past triumphs or even continue the same themes. But with a voice as distinctive as his, it's hard not to have those expectations.
At times the lead female, Rebecca Hall, sounded just like Woody - nasally, acerbic, paranoid, absurdly rational. It was charming, especially due to the brevity of the emulative moments.
I worked with Chris Messina on a film called Road in New York. We have a lot of mutual friends. It was good to see him in a sizable role on the big screen.
The film was worth seeing and enjoyable. It reminded me of how simple a film can be and how few films that accept that challenge.

Signore Direttore

XLI

Thirty, thirty-five and forty didn't bother me. They were milestones to be celebrated. Add one and suddenly I'm beyond the abyss. Which isn't to say I'm bothered today as I celebrate forty-one years of age. I'm quite happy actually, but I can't say I am entirely excited to state my age. It comes with a little interior tremor of, Really?
I ran this morning through Victoria BC, catching up to my family who were visiting the petting zoo in Beacon Hill Park while I had some alone time to gaze across the Straits of Juan de Fuca at the Olympic Mountains back in our suite before my run. I'm finally able to run comfortably after four years of rehabilitating a severe tendon injury in my right ankle. Running makes me feel light on my feet and young. I'm much slower than I was but minus the burn of the pack a day plus I used to smoke even when running competitively. I've been running all week with no pain in my joints. My muscles on the other hand are feeling the burn. My lungs, however, feel quite young.
I have mucho to be grateful for, obvious to my intellect but difficult for my psyche to accept. Oh, the great mystery of life! No sense in trying to sort it all out, better to live as mindfully and courageously as possible and leave the rest up to the universe.

feliz cumpleanos a mi,
Signore Direttore

Olympia

We're in Olympia. Our cottage on Marrowstone won't be ready until tonight. We decided to split the car travel in half and spend a night here. I've driven through Olympia dozens of times without ever stopping. It's a really cool looking little city. I'm surprised it hasn't been used in more films. There are a lot of little alleys downtown. Then just a few blocks from the beautiful architecture of the old buildings and storefronts is Puget Sound. We saw two seals playing in the inlet to Heritage Lake. And some herons.
An old movie theater has been converted to a playhouse that has a Shanley play up. Lots of good little restaurants. I want to come back here. Maybe without the kids.
I also got back into Sway this morning for a thousand words or so. It feels good and totally familiar. I'm not going to let it take over our vacation, but I do want to try and pass the fifty thousand mark this week.

Ciao,
Signore Direttore

Family Vacation Packing List

Phase I - Marrowstone Island, Washington

Binoculars
Audubon guides
Hiking boots
Rei/Columbia clothes
Campfire songbook
Crocs
Board games
Sway - first draft of novel in progress
Skateboard

Phase II - Victoria BC

Shoes - white suede oxfords
Oxford shirts
Trousers
Cashmere cardigan
Willy Vlautin's new novel Northline
The Wire season 3 box set
New Versace tie (for high tea at the Empress)

The Master Says 326

In going where you have to go, and doing what you have to do, and seeing what you have to see, you dull and blunt the instrument you write with. But I would rather have it bent and dull and know I had to put it on the grindstone again and hammer it into shape and put a whetstone to it, and know I had something to write about, than to have it bright and shining and nothing to say, or smooth and well-oiled in the closet, but unused.

Ernest Hemingway

SLUT

A little tease from the short film SLUT starring Brendan Robinson and Christy Drogosch. Photographed by Brian Mohr. Hair and Makeup by Nicola. I did all the other stuff, as the forementioned were the extent of our cast and crew.

The Master Says 325

The proper route to an understanding of the world is an examination of our errors about it.

Errol Morris

The Master Says 324

A film is - or should be - more like music than like fiction. It should be a progression of moods and feelings. The theme, what's behind the emotion, the meaning, all that comes later.

Stanley Kubrick

A Sad Passing

The Master Says 323

If you're a singer, you lose your voice. A baseball player loses his arm. A writer gets more knowledge, and if he's good, the older he gets, the better he writes.

Mickey Spillane

Arrested Development

I was the kind of kid that skipped school and watched television. I started this practice in second grade. Cartoons in the early morning, game shows (Price Is Right, Match Game, Family Feud) later in the morning, Perry Mason at noon, afternoon matinee at 1, more cartoons from 3 to 5, followed by syndicated detective shows in the evening (Rockford Files, Mannix, It Takes A Thief, Hawaii Five-O) and finally primetime at 8pm. I watched between four and fifteen hours of television daily. I spent more time with the Flintstones and Perry Mason than I did with my parents. Both were more reliable in many ways than my role models in real life. Hence my own arrested development.

I don't own a television now that I have children. They get to watch a film once a week. And we go to the movies once in awhile. I don't really miss TV that much. Especially since I can watch shows on DVD without commercials. I like watching TV shows rather than movies sometimes, because sometimes I'm just too tired to watch ninety plus minutes of a film at the end of a long day.
People have been telling me how great Arrested Development is for years. I finally watched it last night. I was not disappointed. It's really funny. You probably already know that. It's five years later and it still feels fresh. Jason Bateman and Michael Cera are my favorites. David Cross is my least favorite. I will be watching it compulsively in the coming weeks.

¡viva!
Signore Direttore

Sports Update

Fireman Ed has some news for Jets fans: Brett Favre, one of the greatest quarterbacks in the history of football is a Jet. He's at the end of his career, but he's a winner and hasn't missed a start since early in his career due to injury. Thanks to the poor performance of last year, the Jets have a soft schedule this year. They should make the playoffs and perhaps make the AFC Championship game like the Chiefs did it when Joe Montana left the 49ers late in his career.
Even if they don't win a lot, at least it will be nice to see the ball being thrown downfield for the first time in a long time.
The Mets suck and I've barely paid attention to them this year. I went weeks without looking at the scoreboard or boxscores. The Knicks have a new coach, but they'll still be a mess. I was happy to see the Patriots lose to the Giants in the Super Bowl, but while I don't hate the Giants as I loathe the Yankees, I don't have love in my heart for NY's NFC team. This move by the Jets revitalizes my ties to NY sports. For now.

Ciao,
Signore Direttore

When Negative Reenforcement Becomes Punishment

. . . (the king) can deprive them of the benefit of sun and rain, . . . and they are at the same time pelted from above with great stones, . . . while the roofs of their houses are beaten to pieces. - Jonathan Swift

I am the type of leader that too often pelts subordinates with stones and beats their homes to pieces. I have a lot of difficulty accepting substandard performance from those in my charge. Especially from crew members. My thoughts that precede my reactions of scorn, both viva voce and silent, go something like this - I've got multiple things to track, you've got one thing to track; why can't you get the one simple fucking thing you've got to do right? While that might be a logical conclusion, albeit crudely so; it isn't very kind, loving or tolerant. It certainly isn't the way to make people feel good about working for me. (My shame is all the more amplified when I recall I rarely have had the ability to pay my crews.)
I am becoming more aware of this tendency, which is a huge step toward growing out of this brand of insecure leadership. Indeed insecurity is at the core of this issue. When it comes to set protocol and technical skills I overcompensate for fear of judgment from the crew. I strive to know their jobs better than they do so as to maintain my authority. I do this in the name of being a more complete filmmaker, but it's not entirely the motive. Perhaps by letting go of this fallacious attempt at authority, I will form more trusting relationships with my collaborators by treating them as such.

Humbly,
Signore Direttore

The Master Says 322

Not beautiful photography, not beautiful images,
but necessary images and photography.

Robert Bresson

The Master Says 321

Some people regard discipline as a chore. For me, it is a kind of order that sets me free to fly.

Julie Andrews

August 1, 2008

Okay. Summer is half over. 2oo8 is in its second half. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of challenging events and relationships. My psyche has been invaded - my dreams full of anxiety all week. I'm exhausted. I'm wondering what the point of all this upheaval is exactly. This is not what I want. So I'm making some changes to quiet some of the turmoil while allowing for forward progress.
I'm going to take the weekend to consider dropping way back and punting on future gigs with the corporate client I've been working for. I don't want the work that I do based foremost on the money I'm earning. That's what this job is becoming - I think of the money first. In fact, it's the only reason I'm doing the job. And that has never worked for me.
There were three hours today when I felt like I could get excited again. I submitted a proposal for a project that we discussed energetically in our meeting this morning, but that won't get contracted. That in itself doesn't bother me. It's the fact that they're going to take three weeks to tell me they want to rethink the ideas presented in today's concept meeting. Which means we'll have another concept meeting. In a few weeks. How do I know this? Because that's been the pattern and the art director sent me an email saying he thinks the pushback is going to continue for reasons beyond his comprehension. I get paid for the meetings and the proposals, but I make the real money when we shoot and edit something. And then do it again. And again. For once I'm getting paid to talk and plan, but all these years of working independently makes me suspicious of such frivolity. I just want to shoot stuff. And I want to do it under circumstances that offer the possibility to succeed.

Ciao,
Signore Direttore

The Master Says 320

Everything that moves on the screen is cinema. A film designed to teach children the alphabet as has much claim to be considered cinema as a grandiose production with psychological pretensions. In my view cinema is nothing but a new form of printing - another form of the total transformation of the world through knowledge. Louis Lumiere was another Gutenberg. His invention caused as many disasters as the dissemination of thought through books.

Jean Renoir

The Master Says 319

Discovering the truth about ourselves takes a lifetime, but it's worth the effort.

Mister Rogers

Giving the Dedicated a Little Hope

Stories like Melissa Leo's are inspiring. Someone that has worked hard got a chance to stretch a bit. Especially nice to see an older woman succeed in a culture concerned more with young ditz's with capped teeth and cleavage than the alluring beauty of artistry.

Grazie universo per una giustizia piccola,
Signore Direttore

Back in the New York Groove

Picked up Sway again after a two or three week hiatus. I was feeling a little off today, lacking a central connection. I read Chuck Pahlanuik's new novel Snuff after swimming a few laps in the pool. I ate dinner. Nothing seemed to satisfy my unsated appetite. So I said fuck it and opened my computer and started typing. I got a thousand words down. Not one of them seem worth a damn. I'm definitely out of touch with where I left off, but I'm not going to fret. Chuck's new book isn't great, but he writes it confidently. After reading it my work feels stodgy. I'm pretty sure I wasn't reading the hardcover first draft of Snuff. Besides, Snuff is in first person. That's almost cheating! Sounding clever and confident is much easier in first person. I've always found maintaining interest with the third person voice to be elusive. It is tough to keep it active and fresh. Overall I feel pretty fucking boring right now - too much practical responsibility going on. I buck at the reins of convention. Says the man who spent his morning buying appliances, sinks, faucets and heaters.
The groove will come back as soon as I stop judging.

Keeping the faith (really)
Signore Direttore

Made Crooked Theme

Vocals: Rose Stuart
Music: Mike Spicer
Lyrics: Neal Corl

Back in February, when we were getting on the plane leaving New York after shooting Joey's pickup scenes for Made Crooked, I had the idea that I wanted to write a song for Rose to sing that would express the film's theme. I quickly dismissed the idea as fantasy. But it ended up a reality. If you can dream it ...
I wrote the lyrics one Saturday evening a couple of weeks later. I've been working with the composer on the music and today Rose came over to "audition". I've heard she was a good singer but I had never heard her sing before today. I was very pleased with what she did in one quick take. This is very rough (though smoother than much of the film!), but I think it's great and I look forward to bringing it all together (the song, not the film) in the next couple of weeks. The film is getting closer. I think I've found an editor to do some work since Jordan's return from LA keeps getting delayed.

Grazie,
Signore Direttore

The Master Says 318

If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

è chiamato lavoro

Down on my hands, well hand actually, and knees working non-stop this past week. Work, work, work. Frustrations of dealing with contractors, helpers, home centers, not enough time and an old fickle building. Della Court (don't know why it's called "court" since it's not a courtyard apartment) turns eighty this year. We've owned her since August of 1988. Going to great lengths to keep her looking almost as good as she was back when people didn't have televisions or even refrigerators. One of the apartments still has the old ice box.
It's a labor of love. I'm turning it over to a contractor to finish what I've started so I can get back to things more suited to me. We'll see how it goes. I'm trying to trust and let go of my perfectionism. I'm definitely looking forward to letting go of it a bit as I'm anxious to get all the units rented at full rate for the first time in four years. That income will allow me to return to writing Sway and other film projects. And to pay off the enormous debts we're taking on to finance these renovations.

Ciao,
Signore Direttore

The Master Says 317

I'm just smiling, thinking about all the poor human beings who allow themselves to love, whether they're artists or famous people or not.

Carl Theodor Dreyer

What A Week

Getting through weeks like this one takes its toll. Coming through productively takes more of a toll physically than upstairs. I'll take the physical and emotional exhaustion. Gladly.
I didn't do any writing on Sway. I'm a little bummed about that and a little frightened about getting back to the lovely flow I was enjoying. Trust. But I'm very forgiving of myself for not writing. I was leaving the house well before eight each day and getting home between ten and eleven. I barely saw my family.
I had a lot of doctor's appointments for my wrist, including a new set of x-rays. There was a specialist in town yesterday for a conference that worked on it. He gave my doctor some insight and was able to unlock some of the tendons restoring about fifteen percent more movement. I'm now at about fifty percent.
I also narrowed our choice of editors for DW to two. I know who I want to go with but I'm giving myself the weekend to come to a final decision. It's been awesome watching the footage again. I think that movie is going to be very compelling; if I got all the pieces, that is. I'm excited to see it come together. Definitely going to defy convention.
I've been working away with my left hand and some helpers on our apartment building, running to the hardware store twice a day, getting bids from tile setters, painters and carpenters. I'm finally seeing the light and can now walk away until Monday morning.
I've also been prepping my first shoot for my new corporate client.
And I'm finishing the second week of a totally sugar, gluten, wheat and dairy free diet based on the results of a food allergen test I took a few weeks back. It's been tough, but I feel pretty good.
Late-nights, I managed to squeeze in a few episodes of Deadwood and I read a crime novel by George Pelecanos, one of the writers and producers of The Wire. Good stuff.
So I'm going to treat myself to a matinee in a few minutes - Baghead. Then it's home for a swim and off to a party with my family.
I might get back to Sway for a few hours tomorrow. We'll see.

Ciao,
Signore Direttore

The Master Says 316

Success and failure are equally disastrous.

Tennessee Williams

The David Milch School Of Screenwriting

From Something Awful dot com:
by David Milch


Hi there. I'm David fucking Milch. You may remember me as the creative tour-de-force behind Deadwood, a critically acclaimed HBO series that ended prematurely so that I could launch John From Cincinnati. Some people say that was like ending Seinfeld in season 3 to jump right into The Michael Richards Show, but those people don't understand the subtlety and nuance of ten annoying surfers in varying states of insanity wandering around and getting into pointless arguments with one another until there's a clumsy physical altercation and a pointless "mysterious" ending.

This is a summation of the lessons that I learned during my transition from Deadwood to John From Cincinnati. How I grew as a writer. The mistakes I made with Deadwood. What I was doing right all along. Hopefully it can help someone out there to get into the business of writing television that's half as good as the stuff I make.
YOUR FIRST STEP

Your first step is to think of what genre you want to work in. There's a lot of them, right? Seems like you've got a tough choice ahead of you, but you don't. The only genre you need to work in is "a group of loosely connected people stand on a beach and stare off into the ocean when they take a break from mysterious things happening to them".

I know what you're thinking. That's basically Lost, right? No. Lost was simply the first show to work within this genre. There have been hundreds of westerns and thousands of comedies. Is it right for there to be just one show about a group of loosely connected people that stand on a beach and stare off into the ocean when they take a break from mysterious things happening to them? I think not.

Working in this genre is great because, really, you can write whatever you want and you can make it fit since the show will be "mysterious". Let's say you want to write some sci-fi, specifically shit about astronauts and rockets and the like. Go ahead and write your astronaut story, then have those astronauts crash land on this crazy beach where things aren't as they seem. The astronauts can come across the sandswept top floors of the World Trade Center's twin towers. Punctuate even the worst episode with an ending like that and people will tune in next week, guaranteed.

Actually, no. Don't use that. That's my idea.
Another Step

Many young writers make the mistake of giving their characters actions that make sense within the framework of each person's motivations and personality. I was guilty of this myself while working on Deadwood.

See, if a character merely does what you would reasonably expect him to do, there's no real room for unpredictability. No way to leave your creative fingerprints smudged all over every frame of the show.

Those of you who are eagle-eyed will notice that two characters from John From Cincinnati are essentially the same person. One talks to a bird and one talks to a stuffed bear, and when the bear and bird aren't around each man speaks to himself / God / ghosts. Everyone else on the show is equally crazy but in a general way that doesn't make sense or follow any guidelines. Do you have any idea how much freedom that gives me to be creative?

Characterization is a burden. It will only weigh you down.

Exercise:

While sitting at a stoplight, Scott's car is rear-ended by a teenage girl who wasn't paying attention. Scott...

A. Calls for a police officer and writes down the girl's insurance information. The girl is apologetic and has a particularly difficult time coping with her role in the accident because her own daughter was killed by a motorist who hadn't been paying attention. (WRONG)

B. Gets out of the car, lays down in traffic and begins singing a song about aliens as the damage to his car fixes itself. The teenage girl places a hand on her stomach and knows in that instant that she is pregnant. A Latino man holding a sing reading "The End Is Near" gets peed on by a magic dog and turns into an Asian. (Ding ding!)

Dialog Step

Perhaps the most important aspect of writing truly great television (and naturally something I've always been good at) is coming up with dialog that just barely resembles what each character is trying to say. When people have to work to understand what the hell is going on, they presume (correctly!) that they must be watching fine art.

I could explain this, but I'm not that good of a writer so I'll just show you through an example. Casey does not want a drink that his friend Adam is offering, but he does want to use his phone.

Adam: Want a drink?
Casey: No thanks. Mind if I use your phone, though? It's a local call. I'll make it quick.

That's horrible. Now let's punch it up by making that exchange harder to follow.

Adam: As I would offer to others who were in my house if they were here and desired it, what say you to a serving of this not-air not-earth not-fire element?
Casey: If I were to answer you in the positive I would be the embodiment of the title of that Henry Rollins Band hit from the mid-90's, and half the embodiment of the title of that Jim Carrey lawyer movie. How much of a strain on our friendship would it be if instead I asked for a rendezvous with one of your appliances which I hold close to my head and stimulate with my mouth?

Better. Not quite there yet, but better. As I learned from Deadwood, cursing is the ultimate hot sauce. It goes great with everything. Let's revise the exchange accordingly.

Adam: As I'd fucking just as soon offer it to others, I'm telling you that a glass of that liquid pleasure can pass between your cocksucking lips if you indicate in the affirmatory.
Casey: Much as I appreciate your gesture of motherfucking kindness, I'd like to communicate with another cocksucker via your telephonic voice relay device.

Now we apply the lessons learned from John From Cincinnati. Anger, insanity, mystery.

Adam: (to a chair) I'd offer it to him, but I doubt he'd... no, no. You're right. (long shot of the chair, with the camera slowly zooming in) Hey, you shitbird! Why don't you partake in this once in a lifetime offer of what some who appreciate potables might accept gladly?
Casey: (pushes Adam onto the ground and pulls out a gun) This is the cocksucking end. I wanted to ask of you a question that would possibly lead me to using your receiver and dialing pad but the device communicated with me directly from across the room vis-a-vis my left and right hemisphere. It told me... (an old scar on his cheek vanishes) These things cannot be undone unless we have fucking started them. All is Babylon.

Boom. Instant classic. That's all I have time for, as I'm off to get John From Cincinnati canceled so I can start a new show about angry, insane people who experience mysterious events as they comb a beach for buried treasure and bottle caps. Good luck out there!

(He just might have lost his mind. Or he's onto something the rest of us haven't caught on to yet. ciao, signore direttore)

Now Hiring

I started the face to face phase of hiring an editor for Dangerous Writing this morning. We've come up with a bit of money to pay someone. There are several interesting prospects coming through in the next couple of days.
It was very good to open up some clips from the film and watch them again. It's been awhile. One of the things that struck me in the six random clips we watched this morning was how good many of the performances are.
I'm looking forward to seeing it cut together even in rough cut form. Maybe sooner than later.

Signore Direttore

Jane Gallagher, please Demo | Teaser

It's been a number of years since I've just played around in Final Cut Pro. My friend, the one who's doing the music for Made Crooked, sent me a track to try out on some other shorts. So I selected one of the scenes from the JGp assembly and messed around with it.
I don't think it will fit the tone of the final story, who knows, but I may play around with the cuts to black that I tried out here.

Happy Get Drunk and Blow Off One of Your Fingers Day,
Signore Direttore

Folk Wisdom 040

Some people simply aren't happy unless they're unhappy.

(And I hope I'm not one of them, at least not perpetually)

Ripping and Running

I typed 11,000 words between Friday and Saturday night. This story is just pouring out of me. I haven't gone back and read any of it except for the occasional checking of where I left one timeline or another. It has totally earned my trust. I couldn't have planned the structure any better. There are plenty of places where it's going to need work. I'm bringing my screenwriting experience into play and just trying to get the first draft down as fast as possible. I can and will make more passes later. This method keeps me moving and allows the narrative voice to emerge without too much interference. I've never been able to sustain third person this long without having it start to sound painfully prosaic. I'm not sure yet, but I think rhythm has been the key. And the rhythm has come as a result of not being precious.

¡Viva!
Signore Direttore

Talk about steady

I've been kicking out 2500 words a day in about three and a half hours of writing this week.
I now know where the story is going and roughly where I'd like to end up. I have a couple of turning points or mileposts to hit but the rest I'm discovering as I go. I've found some real gold.
I don't want to talk about it too specifically just yet, but I'm trusting where it's taking me and it feels right in so many ways.
Today I was feeling very confident that I do indeed have a book in Sway. Almost immediately I fretted about the next one. I worried that the temporal shifts I'm riding are not going to fly in every book. I quickly told myself to stop it and went on with my day.
In other news, I'm considering buying a used Mercedes. I took the car I was looking at to get an inspection at a specialist that a friend recommended. It turns out that my mother used to bring her cars to the same shop. They remembered her when I said that my mother's real estate office used to be across the street from their shop. Funny thing was their shop used to be in a different location when they worked on her cars. It was a pleasure to speak about her in a neutral and friendly way. They were sad to hear that she had died and said they had wondered why she had stopped coming in.
Another happy coincidence, and may be responsible in part for the inspiration for Sway, is that my old friend Charlie Kohlmeyer sent me a script yesterday. I ran into him at Reed a few weeks ago when I was shooting a concert for the college. He was in town playing with a band from New Orleans. The band leader said Charlie's name when he introduced the band. My eyes traveled instantly to his feet. Sure enough he was playing in socks - it was the same Charlie Kohlmeyer. I knew him in New York when I was booking gigs for jazz bands. Very good guy. Not surprising that he was back in New Orleans where he's originally from. So many of the jazz musicians I knew in New York were originally from New Orleans or St. Louis. Turns out he'd written a screenplay. He said he was going to send it to me, but when we talked after the gig it was way past my bed time and I kind of forgot about it. He sent it to me yesterday and made me see the connection to my awakening to a period of my life that I reference only in passing. I haven't read his script yet, but I'm looking forward to it. I told him about Sway and he said he would be glad to help with any of the technical research stuff. It's going otbe fun for him to read and try to figure out who the characters are from real life and which one might be him. I think the drummer in socks might give it away. Actually I made the drummer in the band the solid good guy and roommate to the protagonist. Interesting, I wasn't aware of that until just now.
Another funny thing about that is the friend that introduced us, Ingrid Lucia of the Flying Neutrinos (who is also back in NoLa, had called him for a gig that day that we ran into each other. She only calls him a few times a year, he said.

Ta,
Signore Direttore

Steady Positioning

After writing prose for an hour yesterday I spent several hours editing. In between I made a blog entry and updated my word count. I was very energized by both my continued progress and the joy of the work of writing. Hence my cocky banter in the face of balance. It was more an expression of separation anxiety from something that was giving me a lot of joy. I realized as I sat diligently cutting, even skipping dinner, that I was experiencing balance in my life to a greater degree than when I haven't been creative.
I received a comment to my post yesterday that was since deleted by its author . I read the deleted comment in the email that was sent to me alerting me of a new comment. I can see why its author deleted it. He or she might fear I could easily misinterpret the intent and the tone of the comment that expressed some concern about unfinished films getting the attention they need. I'm going to trust that the intent was meant to encourage both my new endeavor, albeit faintly, as well as to prompt my commitment to projects in progress especially as they relate to the mutual interest of my collaborators. Which is all fair and good. To be honest I would have rather heard something privately, but I know this party is busy and under strain in their own affairs. To be really honest I would like to have heard some genuine and enthusiastic support for my recent accomplishments with writing. There's no resentment on my part, I just have decided to take the opportunity to be very transparent about things.
A large part of maintaining balance is making oneself independent of the judgment and expectations of others. That sort of dependence will keep you down. I told this other friend I was writing a novel. He asked me the first line. Because that's the clincher you know, he added. I told him I didn't know because I didn't fuck about for three days coming up with a precious Call me Ishmael in order to avoid writing the first ten thousand words. I'm going to keep writing and iron out the kick ass opening when and if it presents itself. I didn't feel compelled to share much more about the project with that friend. Which is fine. I'm at a point finally where I don't live off of the approval of others. I might still like it or even crave it at times, but I can move forward on my own juice.
When it comes to finishing films I do hold an obligation to those that have given their talent, time and, in some cases, money to our projects. I want to make it clear that I remain dedicated to those films. I am working on them all the time. I am paying for them all the time. I maintain an office and the equipment on which they are being post-produced and archived. I provide endless favors to those that are working for “free”. I am working with actors, producers, picture and sound editors, compositors, musicians, composers, as well as mounting grass roots publicity with no budgets whatsoever. There's also a dearth of moral support. Inquiries regarding the projects' status are often tentative and sometimes even scornful. No one has ever said, Let me know if I can help. That's taking nothing from the many that have come generously forth when asked. Or from those that earnestly express eagerness to see them in their finished forms.
The previous paragraph outlines what I'm doing to finish the films I've produced and directed. Hopefully it reads as evidence of my determination to get these tiny little films out into the world in spite of the seeming Sisyphean nature of the process. There's something else though. Doing the aforementioned doesn't feed me in any way whatsoever. Seeing things come together in an edit or doing something creative like writing and singing a theme song offer me much joy. But most of the time I just want to make another film or blog or do just about anything than slog away at cleaning up the mess of shooting on a micro budget with a pro/am cast and crew and a tyro at the helm.

To offer a clear status report of some of my unfinished films in the order they were produced:

London Calling
I hate it and I often doubt I will ever finish it.

But a Dream
Finalizing edit with an editor that is on a job indefinitely in LA, looking for a new sound designer after the first one flaked repeatedly for three months, finalizing titles and promotional materials with graphic designer.
Projected completion date: August 15

Made Crooked
Finalizing edit with an editor that is on a job indefinitely in LA, working on music with composer, beginning publicity
Projected completion date: December 31

Blowing Up
Waiting for sound editor to finalize sweetening, waiting for compositor to doctor a few shots
Projected completion date: August 1

Dangerous Writing
Haven't touched it and don't plan to until Made Crooked is completed
Projected completion date: Summer 2009

The other 15+ shorts sitting un- or partially edited on my hard-drives:
I can't think of anything that I don't want to finish and I'll get to them as I can

In the meantime I will be working on my novel. I can get down a couple of thousand words a day and still leave plenty of time for editing or even for avoiding editing. The writing is filling a void in me and when that ravenous vacuum is filled it restores a lot of my energy. So who knows, maybe this writing distraction will actually prove to enable more activity on the post-production front than it will detract from it.

Part of me questioned whether my word count meter belongs on Finding Fellini. Would it raise suspicions that my commitment to filmmaking is wavering? Have I gone off in search of a new creative pursuit? Not at all. I'm still very interested in creating films. Unfortunately, I don't find being a post-production coordinator/PR officer/IT technician/bookkeeper/colorist all that creative. Fellini was a director and sometimes writer. He didn't produce or edit his films. He sure as hell didn't repair the Moviola when it broke down. Maybe if I were as talented as he I would have people clamoring to do those things for me, but I don't. So I'm going to keep doing my best with what little resources I've got. And I'm going to remember that this blog doesn't serve to chronicle my quest toward achieving what Fellini the director accomplished. Nor is it an apologia. It is about finding the maestro inside of me, my creative center that allows me to express myself freely. The closer I get to that, the more I understand what balance truly is.

Much love to you all,
Signore Direttore

Could this be love?

I'm at my office today trying to finish the edits of the scenes from Magnolia for class tonight. I spent too long installing necessary updates on some computer applications and just wanted to do a little writing on Sway before getting started on the cutting.
Two hours and nineteen hundred and some odd words later I'm not feeling like switching from Word to Final Cut Pro. From my crush to my battle-ax. Not at all. But the clock ticks forward and there's only three hours until class.
They might call it balance. They might remind you it's a verb. But you don't have to like it. I sure as hell don't.

Signore Direttore

The Great American ...

... Novel. At least I'm writing what I would like to think is going to be novel. Once begun half done, as it were. I've been all over the place lately in a fearful way trying to determine a new course for my life. Nothing drastic, like some big left turn away from making films, but searching for some complementary path that would provide some income, stability and structure. I decided for now to keep my head in the sand where money is concerned and stick to my strengths. Writing scripts always gives me the production jones, so I've been thinking about returning to prose after a seven year break. Then Friday I landed a job making some tasteful, albeit corporate, videos. I didn't think about it until now, but the influx of paid work must have cleared a little space for me to start writing.

Basically I just started writing, trusting that the story and the structure would reveal itself. Which may sound naive, but I'm not someone that has always thought it would be cool to write a novel and just sat down to do it. I've been writing for twenty-five years or more - thousands of pages of stories, plays, screenplays, poetry, journals/blogs. I've even written the first draft of a novel before. I've also been analyzing stories from the perspectives of an English and Spanish Lit student, actor, director and acting coach for as long as I've been writing. What's more, I'm a born storyteller. Some of my friends, especially those from the first twenty some years of my life, might have another name for my endless spinning of yarns.
Writing is something that comes easy for me and as such I've tended to take it for granted. Or perhaps there's some psychological aversion to pursuing something I'm good at for fear of actually being seen as good at something. Because as much as I might crave attention, I shrink from it at the same time.
Anyway, I kicked out 1500 words the first evening. Then another 6000 the next day. And another 2500 this morning, bringing my total to 10,000. Another 90,00o and I'll have a first draft!
It's called Sway. The protagonist is Eugene Morris, the singer and manager of a jazz band that plays weddings and tourist bar gigs in New York City. It's a world I know well and I'm stepping into it again with a new fictional friend leading the way.
I could have spent a lot of time reading books on writing novels or taking notes or joining a writing group or even taken a course, but I decided to just trust that I might know a bit more about this than I give myself credit. Besides it doesn't matter if it's good or it sells or anything like that. It only matters that I keep typing.

Signore Escrittore

Movies as of late

Some movies I've seen lately, graded academically

Ironman B+
Quai de les Orfevres A
Zodiac A-
The Birds C
Indiana Jones IV. D
Harry Potter I. B-
The Passenger A+
If.... A
The Killers (Siodmak) B
The Killers (Seigal) C
Killer of Sheep. C
Lilya 4-ever A
Dave Chappelle's House Party A
Casino Royale (2007) C-
Paris j'taime A-

Into Action

It was good to air a little frustration yesterday. Not only to get it off my mind, but it also prompted a little cutting work. One of those things where I do it and then go; What was I dreading? Or; Is that it?
I'm going to a little more today. I'm thinking a couple of hours everyday minimum and see where that leads.

Signore Direttore

Editing Doldrums

It really isn't the season to be doing a lot of editing. I don't know though if I think any season is the right time of year to toil away in front of a computer screen. I've been able to let it go for a while now. It being the whole lot of films that I've yet to finish. It takes a long time, sure it does. But it takes even longer when I don't cut anything because I only have a few hours here and there and I use that as an excuse not to do any editing at all.
Today I put together an assembly of something for this month's class in about an hour. It's hard for me to edit. I just see what should have or could have been - I don't see the possibilities in what's there.
Even when I direct I sometimes find myself going, oh I like this but it isn't going to cut together - fuck it let's just shoot it. I've been trying to balance out finding golden moments with the more practical continuity concerns. Traditional coverage is so boring and yet free flowing masters are really hard to cover.
Really it's all about sitting down to do it. Which is the hardest friggin part of it for me. I do much better when I'm in the habit of doing just that.
What I really want to do is shoot a film. I know however that I really need to finish a few before I begin anything new. There's a lot of reasons for that. I think I would get a lot more support in many ways if I had some films finished. I have received a tremendous amount of support so far, for which I'm extremely grateful. Another kick ass reason to finish some films.
Of course films plural is a bit overwhelming and contributes to my malaise.


Signore Direttore

The Master Says 315

I've always found it difficult to find people who understand what I'm trying to do and who don't think I'm completely mad.

Lindsay Anderson

The Master Says 314

If a man has talent and can't use it, he's failed. If he uses only half of it, he has partly failed. If he uses the whole of it, he has succeeded, and won a satisfaction and triumph few men ever know.

Thomas Wolfe

The Master Says 313

Chaos is a friend of mine.

Bob Dylan

The Master Says 312

The camera is the eye of the marvelous. When the eye of the cinema really sees, the whole world goes up in flames.

Luis Bunuel

Piling on the Pounds

I gave that JGp assembly another look last night. I was able to give in a bit more to the experience of it. As such I'm starting to fatten it up and trust that it's okay to let the thing be as long as it needs. Patiently and courageously allowing it to reveal itself to me.

Grazie
Signore Direttore

Nothing Matters

I'm feeling a bit insecure about this, hearing voices in my head. One of the reasons I dislike acting in my own films is the lack of separation for myself and often the viewer. Where does one begin their criticism? And that's exactly the problem - my experience of the film begins with critique. I want to move toward experiencing things and offering experiences. However, I think I'm caught up in striving and seeking the approval of other strivers. In our scramble toward becoming we are missing at least some of the joys of the journey, I'm afraid.
Several weeks ago I sent a couple of scripts to an actor with whom I've been interested in working. He hit me back with notes on the scripts from a writer's perspective. It doesn't really matter whether the notes were good or bad. I didn't even write one of the scripts. I was just trying to get a sense of his taste and interest. As a result I have a better idea of what he's like and whether I want to work with him.
When I imagine giving him a copy of this film, I recoil. Because I don't want to be reproached for doing something I've enjoyed. Because someone like him (or me) is not going to take it in. We can't. We are so practiced in deconstructing every element, that there's no joy or possibility even of simply experiencing something.
Salinger wrote this dedication in one of his books - “to the amateur reader, if he exists anywhere”. I'm feeling a bit like an over-educated Rodney King - Why can't we all just read a book or a film for pleasure? I'm guilty, guilty, guilty of the inability to do exactly that. And letting go of it is likely the answer to enjoying my own work as well as that of my peers.
As I cut the assembly of 'Jane Gallagher, please', from which the above clip is taken, I oscillated wildly between doubt and pride. But I doubted the pride more quickly than good feelings ever quieted my trepidation. Nonetheless, I carried on and stayed with it, which is progress that must be noted.
There's a guy in a hotel room that spends twenty-four hours waiting for his lover to show up. He leaves the room, but we don't go with him. He only talks to other people on the phone for the most part. “Nothing really happens” said my collaborator. Fellini said a film should be like watching the ends of a string unravel. I'm obsessed with this idea. And I'm working on it diligently. Brian is wrong - A lot happens in the film. Brian is right - Nothing happens in this film. It's like life. Especially from a nihilistic view of things.
Ultimately, I think I'm just scratching at the surface of what I want to say in my films. The takes in 'Jane Gallagher, please' are very long. This clip will likely remain this long in the finished film. Going to require some patience. Some of my viewers will be much more patient than I am. And the impatient viewers will be made all the more impatient by my lack of confidence in asking for their assiduity.
This project may fall into the category of yet another exercise. On the one hand, I'm grateful to have the resources and the determination to trudge onward. On the other hand, I fear that I'm unable to accomplish the task of completing a film that I can stand behind or next to or in front of or ...
Looking from the outside it's hard to believe other filmmakers need as much fucking practice as I seem to be requiring. It's difficult to trust that my journey is valid and that it's permissible to experience its joys.
One thing I've read and been encouraged by was an interview with the actor and short film director Matthew Modine. He says he sees a lot of movie credits behind short films and urges short filmmakers to keep it simple. Whether Mr. Modine would like my films or not is questionable, but he's sure to be impressed by the compactness of my credits. 'Jane Gallagher, please' - written, directed, acted, edited and produced by neal. camera, lights, sound by brian. c0-starring naomi.
Oh, and one more thing - I've become obsessed with the Bourne movies. I think Paul Greengrass is brilliant. So strike my scathing assessment of him a few months back. I'm looking forward to the 2010 Jason Bourne project with delighted anticipation.

Please dear god, in whom I don't believe, give me the strength to be an amateur.

Signore Direttore

The Master Says 312

All good acting is about detail. It's about
fighting generality.

Paul Greengrass